I remember sitting on the shore of Patong beach one last time, beside some of my closest friends who, not that long ago, had been strangers to me. We shared our hesitations and fears, our hopes and dreams, and our hodgepodge of feelings about being sent home. Conversation eventually died down and we just sat, staring at the water. The ebb and flow of the waves quieting the chaos in our minds. Everything was going to be okay, even if we couldn’t see it at the moment.
The following night, all 30-something of us gathered together for our last night of worship as a squad. We poured our hearts out to God, surrendered our lives to Him in ways we’d never anticipated, and were at rest in His goodness and faithfulness. We cherished the community we came to experience with each other. It was a rare taste of heaven.
Ebb. 38 hours of travel. Rushed airport goodbyes. Seemingly apocalyptic America. Flight cancellations. Sporadic and missed goodbyes. Regret. Everything feeling incomplete. Stuck in my room for two weeks. Feeling misunderstood. Overwhelmed. Missing any sense of normalcy.
Flow. Seeing family again. Answered prayers. Taking everything I learned with me. Lifelong friendships. Unexpected direction. Opportunities for everyday discipleship. Deeper growth. Cultivating community. Zoom bible studies. Prioritizing health. Provision.
This past year has not been easy. Despite knowing that this is exactly where I’m supposed to be right now, I long to press the fast forward button- to arrive at the next season of my life where everything makes sense again. It often feels like I have one foot in the life I experienced on the race and one foot in the world that’s so unrecognizable now. It’s so easy to forget that it’s not an either/or. I need to lean on everything I’ve come to learn through all of my experiences in order to navigate the unknown.
My race was a year of overflow. The Lord filled me up, time and time again. He gave me rest. He showed me what it meant to be led by the Spirit. I may not have gotten what I wanted, but He always gave me what I needed. I learned and grew so much through so many situations I never would’ve dreamed I’d end up in. He is faithful time and time again. God so strategically placed people in my life, if only for a season. The lessons I’ve learned will go with me wherever I go. That is what sustained me since returning home. The good, the bad, and the ugly of my race prepared me for all that came my way this past year. Above all the Lord sustained me, and I’m so thankful for that.
In the book of Exodus, God gave the Israelites in the desert enough manna on the sixth day to provide for them on the seventh as well. Funny enough, this past year since coming home from the World Race has almost perfectly coincided with my seventh year following Jesus. And in the same way, I feel like God poured out enough spiritually on the race to sustain me this past year as well. Life may continue to ebb and flow, but the Lord is my constant. He is unchanging and His love endures forever.
Thank you to everyone who has supported me and loved me well since returning home! I’m so grateful to have all of you in my life. Here’s to all the good that has come in this past year and to all the adventure that is bound to follow in the seasons to come!
-Catherine
