So this whole fundraising thing is not really what I expected. I have to raise close to 17,000 dollars. I didn’t really realize how hard it was going to be. I have never had to raise any amount of money for anything and so I wasn’t really prepared at all. I have about 4 months and I am not even close to the amount I need. How in the world am I going to do this? I honestly have no idea. Each time someone asks how much I have raised or how the fundraising is going I freak out a little inside knowing that I have not made a dent in how much I need to raise.
The only thing I know right now is that the Lord will provide. I know this is what He has called me to do and I have faith that He will provide all that I need to go on this journey. It is difficult because I can’t see the process. I don’t know when or how I will get the funds, and I can’t see the end result. The unknown is what is scary. Not knowing when or how is what is hard. Waiting. Waiting for the Lord’s timing. I want it to happen now. I want to see the money and have that guarantee and sureness that I will be able to go; however, it has not been that easy. This has been such a hard process. Sometimes I really wonder if I have time to raise all the money I need. It is hard to not be discouraged when I see how little I have. I don’t even have 1,000 dollars yet and I leave in about 4 months. How am I going to do this? I feel as if sometimes it won’t happen. I don’t have anything close to the amount I need for my first payment and I only have about two months to raise it. The fear and discouragement is strong.
How am I going to do this? But wait, it’s not about me. It’s not how I am going to raise the money, because lets be real, I could not raise the money in time on my own. It’s not mine anyways. It’s God’s. It’s not about how I can do this. But it’s how God can. It’s trusting and having faith that God can do it.
The one thing that always comes to me is to trust in the Lord. Know that He is for you and that He has you. No matter the struggle, no matter how close the deadline comes, He will provide. It can be so overwhelming to think that I have to raise close to $17,000 in a few months. It sometimes definitely gets the best of me, but no matter how hard or frustrating it gets, I know that the Lord is good and He will provide.
There is something so humbling about this fundraising process. Knowing that it’s not up to me but it’s all up to God to provide the money is freeing. I can’t screw this up. He is in control and He will take care of it, because He is good.
When I got my first donations, I about cried. I was so overwhelmed to see that people do care and want to help. The Lord does call other people to come beside me and help me further His Kingdom. It really showed me how much God is in control. He does use people and will even use the people who I would never expect to help. He is continually surprising me and strengthening me. He is showing me where I need to grow and to let go. This fundraising process isn’t about me. It’s about God. It’s about His goodness and His faithfulness. This process has shown me and can show everyone involved that He is good. That is what makes it worth it. Through the struggle and the discouragement, I see Him. I see His love and goodness shine through.
