My dad has carried many titles over his lifetime–some to be extremely proud of, others not so much. Prison inmate goes under the latter category. Yes, my dad is in a federal prison. That has been his home for almost six years.
I remember it vividly, like it took place yesterday. He broke the news to my family that he had committed a white collar crime. It didn’t seem real. Honestly, it seemed like a nightmare. My dad? Terry Brinley? No way. This man loved the Lord with all of his heart. How could this be possible?
I remember coming downstairs in the middle of the night to find him with his bibles and commentaries open, devouring the truth. I remember the many conversations we would have, and him always pointing it back to prayer and scriptures. Every single time the doors were open at church, he would make sure his family was there. I remember watching him love my mom selflessly and faithfully, like Christ loved the church. I remember the many times he would help those who others would not even notice.
He made Jesus real to me.
So how could this man commit a crime like this? It’s simple, he is human. He sinned. With sin, there are consequences. His was prison. God forgives us for our sin, but the consequences still remain. He was and still is fully aware of that. Sin doesn’t just effect the one person who committed it, but others around them–it’s a ripple effect. With that said, there are many hard days without my dad. There are days I wish I could just call him and hear his voice. There are big moments that he’s missed–his son’s graduation, wedding anniversaries, grandkid’s birthdays, and Father’s Day.
“The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him;”—Daniel 9:9
“Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.”—Proverbs 28:13
Thankful does not even begin to describe how I feel towards my dad. He is my hero. A true King David. Psalms has a special place in my heart. When I read through Psalms, I can hear my father’s heart. I’ve learned many things from him through the years, that being a broken son laying down his rights to his Father, crying out in desperation in the dry wilderness is one of the most beautiful lessons I could have ever learned.
So thank you dad. Thank you for admitting your flaws, humbling yourself before the King of Kings, and walking in obedience. Thank you for letting me see the “hard things” and boldly walking out your faith behind the prison walls. A lot of people do not get to see the seeds you have planted in the men’s lives that you are in constant community with, but your family is able to hear the stories from their families and it is truly beautiful how you are letting God use you in your weakest state. I know you wouldn’t have chosen this as your story, but I’m glad I get to be apart of it.
“Because we live in a fallen world, God has to use broken images of himself, such as fathers. In fact, all the images God gives us of himself in Scripture are flawed. Think of king or lord. How many good politicians do you know? The earthly church’s experience of Caesar was not pleasant, yet they took Caesar’s title, “Lord,” and applied it to Jesus calling him “Lord Jesus.”
The fact that we know our king or father is flawed means we know what a good father should do, Because we are created in the image of the triune God, we have an instinctive knowledge of how a father should love. If we didn’t know what a good father was, we couldn’t critique our own. Modern psychology can unwittingly trap us in our pasts. It is another form of fatalism that kills our ability to see the story God is weaving in our lives. God uses the weak things of this world–including fathers–to weave his stories.”
–A Praying Life, Paul E. Miller
Happy Father’s Day! I love you dad. Forever and always. Mizpah
