Here’s a beautiful story of the Lord’s faithfulness, even when we are initially having a bad attitude and pushed outside our comfort zone. A day in the life of ministry in the Oltenia, southern region of Romania.
For the Parent Vision Trip coming up here our ministry hosts are planning a big event/ministry opportunity in a nearby larger city, Craiova. We are helping prepare by walking around throughout the city and inviting people we meet on the street to the event. A bit of added pressure, we are told the event won’t be effective or a success unless there are at least 150 local Romanians from the community there. Ahh! A little intimidating that this whole event is riding on our shoulders. It’s also always an awkward experience walking up to complete strangers with a bit of an agenda (or anytime). I understand the necessity of it and honestly, I’m really growing in this area. However, I generally struggle with the fear of rejection because in the US no one really has time to be interrupted by strangers. Believe it or not, other countries and cultures are WAY more open to random chats on the street. Regardless, it’s difficult to change my ingrained American mentality.
Our first day meandering the streets of Craiova inviting random people, we only got a solid hour. But it was one of the longest hours ever because it was so awkward and uncomfortable. With some miscommunication issues with our host it just felt very forced, unnatural and yeah, awkward. Friday we were sent up to Craiova again but it took 2 hours to get there. Is it even worthwhile? Will we only be staying only an hour again? This time I was partnered with another teammate, Rashelle, who was very hesitant and uncomfortable with this style of ministry as well. We took time getting coffee then went with our translator, Esther, to a park. I was very hesitant and anxious about starting conversations with people. My thoughts were negatively ruminating on how pointless and futile it felt. So as I’ve been learning is vital, I gave the activity to the Lord. I was inwardly having a very bad attitude. But I surrendered my ideals and my expectations to Him and asked Him to use this ministry opportunity. So we sat on a bench and prayed. I said the words I knew I was supposed to say and wanted to feel and be true, but if I’m honest I didn’t expect too much.
Afterwards I was still anxious and nervous but we started walking. I knew my group was looking to me to get this party started and take the lead. No pressure! I saw a young couple sitting on a bench and thought okay just talk to them. Just do it. As my brother taught me at 6 years old when learning to cliff jump, you can’t overthink it. You just have to do it! So I awkwardly said hi and explained we were Americans living here for the month and were wanting to meet Romanians and learn about their culture and such. I asked if they had time to talk, beautifully they said sure! All three of us sat down on the bench. (It was a tight squeeze! Good thing Romanians generally don’t have a big issue with personal space). They explained they were students studying computer programming at the university nearby. They asked where we were from and I hesitantly began to talk about Missouri. It’s very rare someone actually heard of it, but believe it or not they had! The girl, Theodora, explains that she had met Americans from her church that were from Texas and she knew Missouri was a state close by. Wait—what? Church? In this region of Oltenia roughly .2% of the people are believers. Could we have actually stumbled upon believers in our first conversation?! I probed further. What church is it Orthodox? No, it’s Protestant. Evangelical free. Saaaay what?! We met the .2%! This is the wild God I serve. His handiwork is all over this.
I gush, so incredulous and excited. Really?! Wow! It all spills out of my mouth rapidly. Thank goodness they were good at English, otherwise they wouldn’t have understood. We are missionaries here! We are actually promoting this event as an outreach to the community. Oh my gosh, would you want to come?! Here’s a flier! They actually are interested and said they could even invite some others from their church or friends from university. Praise. The. Lord! He provides. What a blessing and an answer to prayer! We continue to chat about their church here, what their community looks like and how it’s challenging to be friends with non-believers, etc.
Then a woman holding an infant with a toddler on her heels approaches us selling flowers in an effort to get money. It’s a tactic I’ve seen all over. Eagerly hand out flowers and demand payment. As in your face as it is, it’s definitely more effective than just straight up asking people for money. She handed us the flowers but our Romanian friends kindly told her no thank you and that we weren’t interested. Our translator bought a flower and I immediately felt a nudge to help this lady. I had them ask if she was hungry and would like food. She responded with a yes, she has 6 kids and has been living on the street for 2 weeks. Wow! I didn’t have any cash on me, but I had a card. Did they know of anywhere that accepted card? Our new believing friends we’d just met on the bench, Theodora and Stefan, knew of a grocery store nearby. Perfect! I apologized and told them they had no obligation to come with us but I had really enjoyed meeting them. “No, of course, we will come with you!” they said.
So we begin the stroll to the grocery store down the street, when all these small kids pop out from all over the park with flowers in their hands. They were all selling flowers to earn money. These are the rest of her children. They were outfitted in well worn clothing, dirt and food stains down the front and food smudged all over their faces. They all had short, buzz cuts maybe as a measure to help with lice. But they were happy and excited! Bouncing all over the place like the world was their playground. I turn around and our translator, Esther, is holding the infant, apparently he is only 8 weeks old. Wow. So tiny and a complete newborn. On the streets. All these kids. My heart is breaking, but we march on. We are a sight to see as we parade down the street!
We arrive at the grocery store and the kids follow us into the store, eager to help and get food. They have so much energy and excitement, touching and playing on everything. They come up to me and look up with expectant eyes. Some of them are a beautiful blue contrasting against their coffee with cream skin. Even with the shabby clothes and dirty faces, they’re beautiful. So precious. Thank goodness our new Romanian friends were with me. I ask them to tell the kids to wait outside while we get the food. A security guard who had noticed the excited antics of the kids ask us about them. They all converse in Romanian but I deduced our new friends explained we were buying them food but they needed to wait outside.
We got two baskets and I asked for their help in picking out items that Romanian families would normally eat. We started with bananas. I picked some up and weighed them and then Theodora followed suit. Oh please, don’t feel pressured to buy anything, I’m happy to do this. They both assured me they wanted to help too. Wow! And I just met these people on a bench. This is wild!
We went through the store getting basic things like bread, sandwich meat, cheese, canned beans, water, pretzels, etc and formula for the baby. We each got the same so they would have double the amount. We checked out, arranged the food in a bag and walked out to the family. Rashelle was playing with three of the kids a few feet away while Esther continued to hold the infant and chat with the mom. We handed her the food and I gently took the infant from Esther.
Wow, it had been a while since I’ve held such a tiny baby. I looked down into his gray-blue eyes. They wouldn’t focus on mine but he didn’t cry out. Feeling the tiny weight in my arms and the wild gravity of this bizarre situation I found myself in, I stroked his head and held him a little closer. I searched his eyes desiring nothing more than a few moments of attunement. Does your mom have time and the ability to attune and delight in you? Are you learning that you’re so loved and valuable? What have your initial experiences in this world been like? My heart feels heavy and aches. I whisper over him, you are so loved. You are so worthwhile.
I’m pulled out of the moment as Esther translates that the mom is also asking for money for rent. Feeling sad and torn, I told her that this is how we were able to help, with this food. The eldest daughter comes over and takes the baby from my arms. Feeling helpless to better help this family, I asked if we could pray for her. She agreed and I gently put my hand on her shoulder. Esther translated as I asked God to protect, bless and provide for her and her family. Our new friends stood by and prayed in agreement and then said goodbye as they were late for a meeting. We hugged bye and promised to reach out on Facebook. What a cool meeting and opportunity!
I finally had the opportunity to interact with these small children. They toddled and ran around eager for interaction and attention. All were a little shy except for this 5-6 year old girl in a pink sweatshirt with a very short haircut. She came up and I knelt down to her level. She raised up her hands like she wanted to high-five. I raised mine up and she began counting and tapping her hands against mine, creating some sort of hand clapping game. She babbled in Romanian grinning ear to ear. I stood and she hugged me and then we went right back to our hand clapping game. Her energy and excitement was contagious. My heavy heart brightened as I continued to interact with her. I hugged her, tickled her, and swung her around in a circle. Again, I just want her to have a moment where she isn’t ignored or seen as a burden. I want her to be seen and someone who is delighted in. I know this isn’t enough. I’m no savior or grand hero that sees the poverty of the world and tries to step in and make everything better. I have no such abilities. There’s truly a sense of hopelessness as I realize how little I can actually do. But I can love her in these few minutes and show her that she is valued. And that’s what I try to do.
Poor Esther continues to face the incessant requests for money from the mom since she is the only one who understands Romanian. I recognize we have done all we can and it’s time for us to move on. To help relieve Esther of that burden we wrap up our games and conversation and wave goodbye. I am completely reeling. How on earth did that all happen?! All because I was obedient and made that first initial move to start conversation. What a beautiful experience! The Lord was so faithful and so good.
Esther had to leave for an appointment, so it’s now just Rashelle and I. And we still have an hour left before we meet back up with our entire group. I can’t get over how that happened! I’m more open to talking to people after experiencing what God can do with obedience, but I’m so focused on processing what just happened. Rashelle and I keep walking through the city while we rehash the experience. After a few minutes of walking Rashelle says, “Wait– I know this guy. We met him yesterday. He might actually come to the event.” Sure enough, he recognizes Rashelle and conversation ensues. I introduce myself, Mario asks what we are doing and I assert that we’re just walking around right now. Although he was headed to a betting office for some light gambling, he quickly abandons his plans and volunteers to show us around the city. Whaaaat?! I didn’t even have to experience the awkward moment of starting conversation again! The Lord gives good gifts.
Mario takes us down a few walking streets as I continue to gush and ooooh and ahhhh at the charming architecture and murals. I’m still on high from our eventful afternoon. We naturally flow into conversation about religion as I fawn at the Orthodox Church we are passing. How is this happening?! We run into another one of his friends and we stop for drinks on the outdoor patio of a local cafe where they generously buy us each a cappuccino. They were eager to hear about our trip and we enjoyed getting to hear about their life in Romania. It’s so much easier to promote and invite people to an event when you actually know a bit about them. I’m much more hopeful they will be willing to come and meet up with us again. It quickly became 5pm and we politely excused ourselves, said goodbye, and rushed back to meet our ride home.
Wow. The Lord showed up that day! Even though ministry didn’t exactly fit within my comfort zone, we gave it to the Lord and He used our obedience for His glory!
On the way home Rashelle and I replayed the whole afternoon from each other’s point of view. She told me how while playing with the kids (while I was inside the store) it was precious to see the 5-6 year old girl taking care of her younger siblings. (Rashelle having worked in a temporary shelter for foster children is intimately acquainted with the struggles of childhood trauma and attachment). She spoke in detail of how the young girl was attuned to the needs of her younger siblings and would go to great lengths to keep them safe. She would stand guard over them and pick them up when they toppled over. She was sacrificial of her own desires to ensure they got what they needed. She was the big sister who at the tender age of no more than 6, is left to carry the emotional and physical burden for caring for her youngest brothers and sisters. It’s a stress she shouldn’t have to carry, but she feels it’s her duty and responsibility.
This story immediately took me back to stories numerous kids have shared with me while I worked at Calo. The crippling stress of caring for their young sibling(s) on the streets before they were adopted. How many times have I pictured my Calo kids as tiny children wandering around the streets of their country of origin? My heart would break for them as I imagined that chaotic stress and pain. Now I have encountered this situation firsthand. It’s not a bad dream or an imagined scenario. It was real life. While I didn’t indepthly know these kids I met that day or know exactly the effects their childhood trauma would have on them in years to come, I met them in their current struggle. Had I done all I could for them? Was I the person I would have wanted to be for my Calo kids? It’s a lot to imagine and process.
These situations are so challenging. What is the right course of action? What more should I have done? Should I not have bought groceries; was that just a hand-out? Should I have given the mom money? Should I have spent more time with them? Am I just trying to be the hero and bestow my privileged white upper-middle class American benevolence upon them in hopes that I will feel like a good person? It’s a lot to question and take in.
As I’m repeatedly learning is the best option, I give it to the Lord. I truly don’t know what the best course of action is, but I trust that the God I serve is faithful, just and good. He loves my Calo kids and the families I meet on the street way more than I ever could. He has a plan and sometimes I get to be a small part of it. So I will continue to pray for them and be obedient in the future if I feel the Holy Spirit’s nudge to help. And I have to rest assured that I’m doing my best and He’s going to work it all together for good.
