It feels like God gave us our best month in the very first month of the World Race. Our time in Chile with Casa Esperanza was supreme. We had stellar accommodations, so much good food I think I gained weight, the ability to speak English with our hosts, phenomenal, diverse ministries I truly believe in and feel passionate about, and most importantly, a deep sense of community with those we were working with. This doesn’t mean everything was constantly sunshine and daisies, but I was still mostly within my comfort zone.
Our ministry with the girls of Casa Esperanza was extremely similar to the relationship building I did at Calo. I felt very confident with the types of struggles the girls in our ministry endured and felt well equipped to be sensitively curious and process through them, yet the language barrier made it almost impossible. One of the times I was able to have a substantial, deep conversation about a girl’s struggles with depression and suicidal ideation it was through Google Translate… which if you’ve used it much at all, you will understand how unreliable and confusing it becomes. You try to be as empathetic and understanding as you can… but when you literally can’t understand what she is saying, it’s very difficult!!
You’re left with the majority of your expression of yourself being through your actions. The way you greet and interact with them, hugging/loving on them, repeatedly reaching out and trying to engage with them, and praying that they will see Christ through the way you live your life. On our final night of once we had a time to share letters we wrote for the girls with words of encouragement from the Lord for them. This slowly turned into a time where both the girls and leaders of the organization along with our World Race team could share concluding thoughts with the entire group and have translation. This quickly turned into tearful goodbyes and expressions of the deep impact the last several weeks had made in all our lives. The Lord had used our faithfulness in showing love to reveal His heart to these girls and the leaders. I’m a repeat offender of getting teary at goodbyes and small heartaches, but I was quite unprepared for the sobs that overtook me hearing the reflections and heartfelt thank yous. They were all so thankful for our time and commitment to loving them and spending time with them. It felt like we had just got started on forming these relationships and now we were leaving. There were little to no dry eyes in the room. You do your best to be a blessing to others, yet it feels like you yourself is the one being overwhelmingly blessed.
It very much feels like our month in Chile will be hard to top. But in all honesty, I don’t know if I could endure another truly excruciating goodbye like I experienced when we left Chile. When you know that the girls we worked with have had a challenging childhood and therefore trust issues, it’s excruciating to feel like you’re abandoning the small semblance of trust you’ve built with them (I recognize I’m quite dramatic and I’ve worked at Calo too long). God is continually reminding and teaching me to let go and trust Him. God loves these girls and all that I encounter way more than I ever could. He is at work in their lives and in their circumstances. It’s not up to me to “save” them or be the changing presence for them. God allows me to play a small part and influence in their lives, but I’m just planting small seeds. He does the work and He gets the glory, not me! I don’t have to overexert myself, go overboard and try to fix everything, or feel like I’m not doing enough. Moderation is one of the hardest concepts for me to fully grasp and walk in. Goodbyes is clearly an area where the Lord will be stretching and growing me. It’s so beautiful how quickly you can connect to others regardless of different cultural norms and language barriers. However that means this year will involve numerous painful goodbyes. My heart will be scattered all over this world.
The platform of this blog makes it almost impossible to post pictures. Please check out my Facebook for tons of pictures of our incredible adventures in Chile! Also let me know what else you want to hear about? There is so much happening on the race and it’s already beginning to feel normal. I don’t know what’s best to inform you all about! Comment below if there are things you would like to know more about. An update on our time in Argentina will be coming next!
