The day training camp began, I last-minute packed before rushing out the door. I didn’t do a trial pack of my 65L Osprey and completely panicked when I couldn’t find my microfiber towel. (Trust me, it felt like it was the end of the world)
On top of that, nothing was fitting in my pack. Like N-O-T-H-I-N-G. My sleeping bag was too big and my packing cubes turned out to be one giant cube. It was all too big- everything was too big.
I felt like I was minimizing, but it was still too much. The panic was too much. All of a sudden I didn’t know how I was going to get to training camp, let alone three continents!
After 45 minutes of torture, I managed to cram everything in my pack and rush out the door like a mad woman- late for my 4 hour drive to Gainesville.
I’ve had my fair share of panic attacks over the years. Over tests and rooms and things that don’t matter. They normally spur from self-fulfilling prophecies and a quick downward spiral of doubt.
Moments when the voices get too loud and breaths aren’t as full anymore.
Moments of heaviness that suddenly feels to burdensome to lift.
Moments where I let the enemy have power.
This time in my panic – I heard a calm voice whisper, “You don’t need any of this to live”. And I began to repeat it.
That day I heard a lot of voices. Voices that pulled me under and one that set me back on my path.
At training camp, one of the talks by Bill Swan defined the four voices common to the human spirit as:
- oneself
- the enemy
- the world
- the Lord
There are a million voices floating around in our heads – how in the world are we supposed to discern which is the right one to follow?!
You have to actively pursue the voice of righteousness.
To hold your thoughts captive, start with something like this:
“In Jesus Name, I take authority over my mind and I silence every voice but the voice of Jesus”
Our God is dying to speak to us! He began it all by speaking the world into creation and is waiting for us to ask him to speak.
Once you ask Him to take control – He will.
This simple statement has radically changed the way I’ve approached the Lord these last weeks.
I have authority because the Holy Spirit is in me and around me. All I have to do is ask.
UPDATES:
Meet My Squad: E- Squad
(We’re relaxed, thoughtful, and winners of squad wars!)
Meet My Team: Love Storm
(Lucas, Me, Elizabeth, Greg, Alyssa, and Maggie)
Please pray for an affordable Yellow Fever Vaccine during the shortage. Right now I’m scheduled to drive to Greenville, SC (that’s 3 hours away), because it’s the closest location to carry the vaccine.
We’ve managed to raise $9,000! I’m $1,000 short of my next goal. $10,000 is due on December 18 to purchase my plane ticket. Please continue to pray for support and the willingness to give. I often forget we can ask for big things!
Thank you for following along and supporting me with your finances and prayers! I’m so honored to be a part of your lives.
