…unless you make time for it.
This past weekend I had to accept a lesson the hard way- in fact, it was literally forced upon me.
As I have posted previously, I have a problem resting. When I’m not running around like a chicken without my head, I feel as if I am being lazy.
I mean, if I’m not working, it seems to reason that I am not doing anything. Therefore, not doing anything means I’m lazy. Deductive reasoning, right?
Wrong.
We had the amazing opportunity to have the spiritual mother of our contact come and talk to us about a few different things, mainly about how to work together effectively as a team. One of the components of that was that we needed to know our DISC profile in order to know how we and the others functioned in a team setting.
I discovered I was an “S”. Among many other characteristics that reaffirmed that I was very much an “S”, “S” personalities have a strong pull to sleep when they get emotionally drained or stressed, but they often feel like they cannot do so because they feel like it is associated with laziness. But, resting is actually what is best for them at that time and that is how they release stress and recharge.
Suddenly, my life made sense- as cliché as that sounds. I have literally been pouring out every ounce of myself- emotionally and spiritually- into everyone I meet during ministry and love that I am able to do so and have truly never been happier, but have also had a strong pull to just get in bed early and sleep in late, which is pretty unlike my normal schedule.
It was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I suddenly felt no more conviction or harsh feelings about my desire to want to curl up on my sleeping pad earlier and earlier every night.
Then, the next day, plans were finalized and we were packing and on our way to our housing contact’s beach house on Gordan’s Bay.
After driving an hour and a half, we pulled into the beach town and I was amazed. I have never classified myself as a “beach person”- maybe due to my lack of time spent on one thus far- but I had a different feeling as our two vans packed with 24 people and hauling trailers full of clothes and sleeping materials rolled into a stop in front of a gorgeous two-story house literally just a few feet off the water’s edge.
Even though it was almost 4 p.m. and we had yet to enjoy the lunch we had been promised for hours and I felt like my body might be starting to eat itself soon, I was already feeling rested and refreshed.
I have spent the past four days doing exactly that: resting and being refreshed.
Some people shopped ‘til they dropped. Some people went swimming with sharks. Some people stressed about getting internet. Some people packed their days full of walking around and eating at restaurants.
I did nothing.
It was the hardest thing I have done so far on the Race and, yet, the most worthwhile.
I am still sad that I didn’t go cage-diving with some of the girls, considering it was probably a once-in-a-lifetime experience to cage-dive in South Africa, but sitting at home that day was beautiful.
Between cage-diving, internet-seeking, and shopping, the house was vacant- other than Riddle and me.
I spent the afternoon lying on the wooden couch-bench on the covered porch that looked straight onto the waves as they crashed on the beach of the bay and basked in the sun as it peeked over the mountains on the other side of the bay.
The fishing boats and sailboats, which were still docked in the harbor for the day, bobbed up and down with the coming in and going out of each tide. Fishermen were standing with multiple 10-foot poles as they kept their heads on a swivel, as to not miss any slight tug on their lines. Children ran along the beach, pushing sand between their toes and piling it as high as they could.
Dogs were being lead down the path by their owners donned in sunglasses and hats as they took in the sunshine, nodding and exchanging brief conversation with the other dog-walkers they passed. Luxury cars crept by slowly as their drivers tried to spot the cabin or bed and breakfast they had booked for the long, holiday weekend. As they passed, smiles and waves were thrown in my direction.
But, in my solitude, I spent time with Jesus and rejoiced in the beauty of the scene painted before me.
I rested in His presence like I have never been able to before. I was completely alone and yet I have never felt Jesus standing beside me like I did during that time.
I did nothing- minus going to a tavern to watch the rugby match with the locals and getting some dessert- yet, I feel like I have enough material to write a least three blogs about. My mind is blown by the simplicity of it all.
So, after four beautiful days, we packed up our things and said our “goodbyes” to the beach as we piled back into the vans and pulled ourselves away from the painted sunset canvas of Gordan’s Bay.
We started ministry again this morning (Tuesday) and this afternoon we return to the squatter camp to work with its residents. I am refreshed and overflowing with Jesus and cannot wait to lavish it onto them!
Rest.
Laid my pride down.
Learned a hard lesson.
Let Jesus fill me up.
Lavished on others.
Refreshed.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
matthew 11:28-30
