Like I said in my previous blog, last week my squad spent some time in Lima, Peru for our month 2 debrief.
It was a time of relaxation.
It was a time of laughing with the whole squad.
It was a time of staying up late and sleeping in.
It was a time of actually being a tourist and sight-seeing.
It was a time of daily (sometimes multiple times a day!) walking to Starbucks and McDonalds for Wifi.
But it was also a very hard week.
It was a time of change.
It was a time of painful discoveries.
It was a time of goodbyes.
It was a time of brokenness.
It was a time when my World Race team fell apart.
We started our route with seven incredible women desiring to uncover and speak truth into our own lives and the lives of our teammates.
Last week we said “goodbye” as everything we had known about our team thus far had fallen apart before our eyes.
We said a physical “goodbye” as one of our teammates left the Race to return home and deal with some important medical-related issues. It wasn’t an easy farewell because Dana had become an essential part of Team Veracity.
It wasn’t fair; we had just opened the door to really getting to know the other people on our team and now one of them was whisked away. We had just finally all begun to open up and be extra vulnerable with each other. Our desire to uncover truth was finally coming to fruit and now we were knocked back and shocked that this was the end of the Race together as a team of seven.
As if that wasn’t challenging enough, our leadership roles were turned upside down. Our wonderful team leader, Emily, wanted some time- away from the leadership role- to work on some personal things that the Lord was uncovering in her life. She listened to what God was doing and she stepped back.
Catherine accepted what the Lord was doing in her life and the leadership characteristics He was placing within her personality and fearlessly stepped into the position of team leader.
And, as I am focusing on rebuild my own identity- like I briefly touched on in my last blog post- there are a few characteristics that I have discovered that I exhibit that can either be Christ-like or not, depending on the attitude behind them.
One of the things I am trying to refine, but not eliminate from my life, is the “power house” demeanor that I’ve been told that I have and that I have embraced over the years. I tend to be loud when I am passionate about something. I tend to be “in your face”. I use the voice I am given.
As the team treasurer, I had a voice. I loved that I could use it and did have some authority. I didn’t abuse it; at least, I don’t think I did… But I felt like that was a foothold where it could have easily turned into abuse of power if I wasn’t careful.
Until I figure out exactly how using my voice looks when it’s used in a healthy, life-speaking, Jesus-pleasing way, my squad leaders and I felt it was best for me to not have the opportunity to be even slightly tempted to use my position of power to push my voice forward in a selfish agenda.
And, so far, it’s been really freeing!
I am just a World Racer now. Not that I didn’t like being the team treasurer, but it’s nice to use my free time journaling and reading my bible (I’m currently doing a month-long, personal study through Ephesians. Any input or advice on helpful readings to go along with Ephesians would be appreciated!), instead of worrying about how much money we have for groceries this week or making sure I wrote down every receipt and recorded it in the spreadsheet.
I’m just here and going with the flow.
I have no “job” or “title” and, for the first time in my life, I’m ok with it. God is using that to fill me up in new and unexpected ways, reaffirming who I am in Him, with or without a title behind my name.
Meg, oh so graciously, took on the task as team treasurer and is doing a fantastic job and I am already seeing her grow in God through her uncomfortability. (I don’t think that’s a word, but it is definitely used all the time on the World Race! “Uncomfortability”= ad that to the list of “World Race-isms”)
We have begun Month 3 in Peru (yes, again) as a team of six with all new leadership roles.
It’s a completely different team now.
The way I previously knew my team as has fallen apart to the ground.
But, don’t fret, when we fell, we hit the ground running!
We emerged stronger, more confident in what God is doing both in us and through us!
We are ready for anything God brings our way because we are devoted to speaking that life into those dead lives that we see throughout the world and even in ourselves sometimes!
We know God’s plan and purpose for us, as individuals and as a team, are bigger and more extravagant than we can even fathom!
He is guiding our steps and we are trusting that He can see the way and the path, even when we can’t with our own eyes.
We are Team Veracity—refined and reconstructed; Team Veracity 2.0, if you will!
Team Veracity's six members with two photobombers from the church service Sunday.
