God has
broken my heart for Luis, a 13-year-old boy in Honduras. I have told his story
before, but I’m going to tell it again and share what God has been speaking to
me about him.
[Luis & me]
Let me
paint a picture of where he lives…
Luis
lives in Los Pinos, a mountain village just outside of the bustling capital of
Tegucigalpa, Honduras. The community he lives in does not have running water,
electricity, trash services, waste removal, public education, etc. Many of the
people are unemployed because there are very few job opportunities available. Most
cannot afford to feed their families. Parents often send their children out to
beg or dig through the local dump to find food. There are many broken homes and
children living on the streets. People often turn to paint thinner (a highly
addictive drug) because it is cheap and easy to get and it numbs their hunger.
It is one of the most dangerous communities with a lot of gangs and violence.
[Los Pinos, Honduras]
This is
his story…
Luis
lives with his very sweet, old grandmother (dad’s mom) and 15-year-old sister,
Fanny, in a small shack with a tin roof and a dirt floor. His dad lives about 2 hours away
and he only sees him about once a month. His mom disowned him at a young age
and tells him often that she doesn’t love him. She lives only a few houses down
the hill with her youngest daughter, Elizabeth Nicole. Luis always told us she
was his cousin. Turns out they have the same mother. He was trying to hide the pain. The fact that his mother abandoned him hurts my heart so deeply. Nobody should have to deal with that. I can’t even comprehend it. It’s just not fair.
[Luis & his grandma in their home]
I have
never loved someone as much as I love Luis. During one of our last days
together, we were talking and I told him how much I love him and that I wish he
was my son. At that point, we were both crying. He hugged me tighter and I just
held him as we both cried and I prayed over him.
I can feel deep down in
my core that God is preparing me to be a mom for Luis when I move back to
Honduras. This is not normal. I’m 24
years old and have no experience as a mother, especially to a teenage boy that
doesn’t know English! It’s terrifying, crazy, and exciting all at the same
time. I have no idea what it will look like–if I can legally adopt him, if he
will live with me, or if I will just be a part of his life to show him the love
of a mother.
[Luis & me]
I am
continuing to seek God on this as I still have a little over 5 months on the
Race. I plan on going back in September to Honduras to visit and figure out a
few logistics before heading back home for a few months to see family and
friends. I want to move back to Honduras as soon as possible so I don’t miss
out on any more of Luis’s life. I know God has big plans for his life and I
can’t wait to be a part of making those things come true!
“As it is written, ‘I have made you the father of many nations’–in the presence of the God in whom he believed, who gives life to the dead and calls into existence the things that do not exist.” –Romans 4:17
I got an
email from Rebecca the other day about a vision she got while she was praying
for me about my future in Honduras. I love how God uses people to speak into my
life and encourage me. This is what she said:
I got a vision of a drop
of water. It was hanging off of something (not sure what) and it was slowly
being formed and continued to get bigger until it dropped off of where it was
hanging and slowly made it’s way to the ground. As soon as it hit the ground it
burst and water spread rapidly (almost instantaneously) everywhere around the
drop. What I got from that was that God is forming you and refining you slowly.
When you are equipped and ready God is going to drop you into a place where
everything He has taught you and all you are will spread rapidly because it is
exactly where the Lord created you to be. Man Cassie, the Lord is going to do
SO many crazy things through you in Honduras but in the mean time He is
refining you and molding you into exactly who you need to be in order to
explode with Christ to everyone around in Honduras. He knows exactly what
people need to see in you and hear from you when you are there and He is
placing those words and actions into your heart over the course of this year. I
am SO excited to watch Him continue to work in your life and I can’t wait for
the day when He drops you into the place exactly where you need to be.
Whenever I
am doubting or questioning, God seems to use people to encourage me that I’m
still on the right track! It’s hard to remember that God is still working on me
and building my character and equipping me to go back there. God has it all
under control and knows exactly what I need. If I went back right now, I would
be short-changing myself and the people God is going to use me to impact. I’m
not fully-equipped yet!! He has so much more to teach me and refine in me this year!
