The kids have definitely gotten very comfortable with us, which can be good thing and a not so good thing. When we got to Asha Nepal, Buvhan (our ministry contact) told us that we would get offended by the kids and just to try to love them through that. We thought to ourselves, no way we are here to minister to these kids, I doubt they could offend us; well we have definitely gotten tested in this area. Sometimes the kids will speak in Nepali, knowing that we can’t understand them, and then laugh at us (it’s funny at first, then it just gets hard), they have also just said many hurtful things, lied and acted out. They are screaming for love and attention and we have been trying our best as a group to give them that with the Lord’s help.
As I was home-schooling the girls one day by myself Alina started getting really frustrated with herself, and started having a bad attitude. Then she was just being rude to me and throwing her paper and pencil because she was so mad. Being that this is not her personality at all I was pretty shocked and tried to tell her over and over that it was ok and that Math can be hard sometimes but that’s what will make you better. Well then she started rolling her eyes at me and so I told her if she kept having a bad attitude she would have to do lines (write I will have a good attitude over and over). She continued acting badly so I told her to get out paper to do lines. It’s hard to describe through writing, but I was getting really upset and frustrated with her and she just continued to act worse and worse. While she was writing her lines she was still being rebellious and I had to tell her if she didn’t stop she would have to keep writing more (it’s hard to punish them any other way since we are not their parents). Well she finally finished and I pulled her over to the side and we sat down. As I prayed to the Lord for patience, grace and the words to help her understand her actions weren’t ok I felt a peace and a deep love for Alina come over me. We sat and I asked her what we had talked about in Bible study this morning. (Ironically, but not to God, we had talked about choosing to shine like stars with the girls that morning; and how they can do this. For example, being kind, helping someone, telling the truth…things like that) So Alina told me what we talked about and I asked her if she thought she shined like a star in those moments, she said no. I asked her if she thought she could shine like a star right now, and she said no with her head hanging. I got the chance to tell her that just because she hadn’t shined like a star in that moment did not mean that she still wasn’t a star and could choose to shine like one for the rest of the day. When I told her these words her eyes lit up and it clicked for her. I said do you think you can make the choice to shine like a star from now on, she said yes. I told her how much I loved her and gave her a big hug. She looked into my eyes and said, “Sister, I’m sorry.” Oh my goodness, all of my frustration and anger that I had had was so worth it to see God allow Alina to “get it” in that moment.
Even though these moments are hard and I don’t always feel like I have it in me to love them, God has proved faithful and continually provides in these moments.
