It's interesting how I can go halfway across the world, be in a completely new environment, be working in ministry and still face some of the same issues that haunted me back in America (interesting, yet not surprising). I'm just going to put an end to the darkness and open up about food.
A lot of people think food issues look a certain way, I want to tell you that is a lie. Some people think that just because you are bigger means you don't struggle with food, that is a lie. Some people think that if you are skinnier and have struggled with an eating disorder that you only struggle with anorexia (not eating), this is also a lie.
Others think that there is no struggle when it comes to the amount you eat, this is also a lie.
I want to make myself clear, I am not saying everyone who eats a lot or doesn't eat very much is sinning. I believe God personally convicts each individual pertaining to where they are at in life and in their relationship with Him. I do however believe that God wants to be glorified through everything in our lives and that includes food.
Here in the Nepali culture food is a huge deal. If you have a meal with someone and sit and spend that time with them, you are showing that individual that you love them. If you share food with someone or someone shares food with you they are showing they love you. Needless to say, since we are living with a bunch of Nepalese people we are sharing meals with them for a bigger reason than just eating. We want them to feel loved in everything we say and DO; and that includes food.
For those of you who don't know I used to idolize food and the consumption of food or the lack of consumption of food in my life. I went many months that turned into years consumed with how many calories I was taking in and how many I was working off. I would go days without food and continued to allow food to be the lord of my life. The "darker" side of this addiction, (I say darker because I was so bound with shame I never wanted people to know this "side" of the addiction) was over-eating.
In America many people share in the love of food, which honestly is not always a bad thing. There can be great times of fellowship, great conversations and joyful times spent around food.
My problem comes when I allow food to take control. I give food the God spot in my life. I enter into a relationship with food that is completely unhealthy. So I will not sit here and rant and rave about how all Americans over-eat and idolize food, because I do believe it's different for everyone; but I know for me it's an area I have to continually keep in check.
The problem lies in where my heart is pertaining to food in my life. If I am eating bigger portions and my heart is worshipping the Lord through that, I know that it's ok. Same with smaller portions. But when my day becomes centered around when I am going to eat and most of what I talk about is food, then I know there is a deeper problem I need to face.
I know I'm semi jumping around in this blog, but I felt like the Lord wanted me to be open and share about what I have been struggling with this month. I allowed food to take God's place in my heart. My days here at Asha Nepal so quickly became about what I was eating and when was the next time I could eat. I am so thankful to the Lord for giving me grace to see that I was putting food in His place and I am continuing to fight for love, and to put God back in His place daily. I know God has big plans for breakthrough in this area of my life, but I also know breakthrough does not come easily.
With all this said, a good thing to remember is life is not all about food! It's not wrong to enjoy food and splurge every once in awhile, but let's all keep our hearts in check and make sure we are willing to give it up if that's what would glorify God!
My truth statement I read over myself daily:
"With Your help I will make You Lord of my life and give you control over every area. As You become Lord I will trust in You to give me balance. My body is Your temple and dwelling place and I choose to take care of it. My body is not my own it was bought with a price, therefore I will honor You with my body."
"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify god in your body." 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
"So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31
