in my heart. Just letting my focus slip off of Jesus and His majesty and placing it onto
worldly things (for example food, image). I was confronted with someone talking
about checking our hearts to see if we were making our self an idol in our own heart.
Of course immediately I was thinking, “No, there’s no way…” After I took a little
while to actually look into my heart, I realized I have given myself the Lord’s
position in my heart. I’m constantly looking out for myself, my wants, my desires
etc. I looked back at these last two months and yea I’ve died to myself and served
my teammates, but only when I WANT to, or have the DESIRE to.
One of the bigger areas I realized this in is the desire to be heard and understood. I
not only do not die to myself in this area, but I was actually convinced that this is a
right that I have as a human being. Yes, I believe in freedom of speech and all that
good stuff, but when I really thought about it so often I get so frustrated if someone
doesn’t see my side or my same view on a topic or issue being discussed. I’m not a
big debater but if I have something I need to say and you don’t understand what I’m
trying to say because you see it in a different light, I will talk until I’m blue in the
face to make you understand the side I’m coming from.
I think not only is it good for me to learn to die to being heard and understood, but
when doing this I can see how I actually begin to listen, hear and understand a
differing perspective. Letting go of my desire to be heard and understood and
realizing that most the time it’s ok to have a different view than someone else
because God has made us all unique and different and that is truly beautiful.
When it comes down to it, convictions may be different, views may change and
people may see things in a different light than I do; but there is one thing I know to
be true and that is JESUS IS LORD. He is the one who deserves the spot of Lord in
all of our lives, we were created by Him and for Him. I know I constantly put God in
a box, but I know that it is worth it to let Him blow that box that I constantly put
Him in. So I will lay down my rights, wants and desires and run back to the Lord of
my life however many times I need to before I see Him face to face.
“…at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” Philippians 2:10-11
