I don’t even think I can type this whole post without tears streaming down my face. So forgive me if there’s a mumbled mess of emotions hidden within this text. It’s only a description of my heart and the emotions that flow through my veins.
Dear Caty,
This post is for you. This post is a small representation of the moments that we share and the times that I’ll miss. I can’t even begin to think of the day that we’ll leave each other for nine months. My heart will ache the second I know you’re gone and my bones will break with sadness. Then again, my smile will grin from ear to ear because of the new chapters we will begin. My arms will keep the warmth of your hug recorded into my weak body.
You’re beautiful. You’re amazing. You’re the best, which is why I write this.
To My Sisters’ New Roommates,
Oh, please, please, hold her heart so near to you. I’ve roomed with her for 18 years and let me tell you this. She won’t pick up her clothes from the floor. She’ll make the bed only when she knows her life needs to come together. She smacks her food when she eats in bed. But when you look at her she’ll giggle and slowly eat to quiet herself. Her smile is radiant and will light up the room that is covered with darkness. Most days you’ll have to encourage her because people will get on her nerves too much. She’ll want to give up when troubled waters are too high. Push her. Give her the honest truth. Lend her your shoulder, But laugh with her too much. Laugh until she puts her head back and standing up a little in her chair because it’s “too funny”. Her jokes suck. Laugh anyway. Take care of her because I’ll be far away.
To My Future Teammates,
I would rather have my sister to room with me but I’ll soon be with you. Forgive me when I’m bitter towards you at first because you don’t do things like Caty does..Listen to my stories when I talk about her to much. I can’t help it. I’ve been with my best friend for my whole life. Let me cry with you. Let me cry on your shoulder and hug me real tight. I’ll leave a tear stain on your shoulder but I hope you won’t mind. But please, please, don’t let me forget the adventure I’m on. If there’s one thing that I need from you most it’s to help me enjoy the calling that God has for me. Help me take in those sweet mornings where he paints a sunset or whispers to the children that “I am His”. Help me when I seem to forget that you’re in this journey with me.
I’m less than 100 days until launch and my heart just cannot bear it. It’s like God is dangling my whole heart in front of my face but gives me the option to chase after His.
If it were up to me, I would pack my sister away with me and keep her for the trip. She has done nothing but encourage me throughout this journey. But Jesus has called me to sacrifice. So here I am…
I’m sacrificing the most comfortable thing in my life for uncomfortable.
I’m reaching my hands out in unfamiliarity.
Instead of receiving the homeliness of her presence I’m receive the warm of His rest. Rest that I can’t find anywhere else.
Right now, I only get it for moments at a time. But when I do, it fills my soul.
100 days to embrace.
100 days to live in comfortable.
Then I’m gone for 9 stinkin’ months.
My heart leaps and aches at the same time.
Jesus, I love you. The bond between my sister and I is nothing compared for the love and grace that you have entwined with your blood. You made my best friend and my sister in one person. Only you can do that. I thank you for the courage and love you pour into us differently.
