So here I am in Malaysia in month 10, the end of month 10! There are only 3 days left of ministry for my team, and then we are off to Cambodia for month 11. INSANE! And after all of the revelations that God shared with me in Thailand, I didn't know what to blog about this month. Everything seemed to pail in comparison. But then I realized that God needs to be glorified for awesome things that have happened this month!
My team and I have spent the month teaching a homeschool curriculum and English courses in Kelantan, Malaysia. The kids have been awesome! We were invited to be the first Americans to speak at a Malaysian high school, and it was so incredible for God to open that door. It was such a blessing to be able to share God's love (even though we couldn't speak His name) with the Malay students.
We have been attending an "underground" church. It is amazing to see the faith and the passion that believers here in Malaysia live out everyday in the face of persecution. It has been awesome to worship in such a Spirit led church. The number of members may be small, but God is going to do big things through them to change this nation! Through our connection at the church, we were able to go out to a small village 2 hours into the jungle and fellowship with 14 young Indonesian men working at a plantation here in Malaysia. The Holy Spirit really fell during that service and gave my teammates and I words of knowledge and words of encouragement for our Indonesian brothers. God just constantly blows my mind with how big and how incredible He is everyday.
With only 5 weeks left on the Race, I have been spending a lot of time reflecting on how much God has changed my relationship with Him and my outlook on life in general over the past 10 months. It is crazy how far He has brought me. However, He is still reminding me that there is so much further that I need to go. This month God has been opening my eyes to see that it is not enough for me to give up things for Him. It is not enough for me to do nice things for other people. It is not enough for me to have a quiet time with Him everyday. It is not enough for me to fast for 24 hours. It is not enough for me to try to learn new worship songs to sing to Him. God doesn't want my actions, or for me to go through the "Christian" motions.
He wants my heart. I felt convicted that I have been doing so many things out of my own strength for my own glory, instead of doing them out of God's strength for His glory. The good things, the nice things that I do for other people are not always done out of the right heart. Many times I do them because I put too much value in gaining other people's approval. Or I feel like I need to because I like to have control. But Jesus has been gently showing me that when I do things out of selfish motives it causes frustration and bitterness, it causes me to feel drained. He has also showed me that I have been putting too much focus on the "rewards" that I should receive from God through my obedience and sacrifice, instead of my end goal being to grow deeper in relationship with Him. Jesus has been reminding me that I need to have His heart for His people. His joy.
I am thankful that the Lord is never satisfied with our complacency. He is always inviting us into a deeper relationship with Himself. He is always remolding and reshaping us to look more like Jesus. I am so excited for the last month of my Race and to see how the Father will work in me and my teammates in Cambodia! Thank you all so much for your continued prayers and encouragement! I can't wait to see your beautiful faces in 5 weeks!
<3 Cassie
P.S. This video below is a little look into how our team loved on some Malaysian high school students and how "Bieber Fever" really is world wide! 🙂
