I just wanted to update everyone on how my journey is going so far!
As some of you may know I am in the middle of sending out my support letters, this in itself is a very difficult thing for me to do. I really struggle with asking/admitting that I need help so this experience has been a learning one for sure.
It might be hard for me because I’m afraid of rejection or maybe I’m just scared of people not supporting me in general, I’m not sure. Before I sent out my letters I honestly didn’t expect much of it (just my fear talking there) and at this point, I was just hoping I’d be close to the 25% goal for October. I seriously would not have guessed I’d be where I am right now.
I personally hate talking on the phone so the idea of having to make a lot of phone calls seriously had me scared. I called a member of my extended family one day as I was making these phone calls, and basically had my fears realized. I was very taken aback as I was not expecting a very harsh and bitter response to the question “did you have a chance to read my letter?” With that and my fear of rejection, it took me some time to pull myself back together. Thankfully I have very supportive friends and family who always have my back.
I believe that God is with us and for us no matter what, so after that phone call fiasco I took time to talk it through and in the end, I was thankful that that had happened. It reminded me that in this life we will have hardships and we can’t lean on our own understanding and let fear take control. I made some more phone calls today and was very anxious to do so; even though I knew the people I was calling would encourage me. That’s why I knew I needed to make those calls and have those conversations.
Whatever the reason for my fear, I think God is really using this time to work in my heart and remind me that he is sovereign and that I can completely put my trust in him and be at peace with that. I don’t have to do this on my own and I won’t have to he is with me and you.
I’m so so so grateful for the opportunity that God has given me to grow closer to him and learn more about myself.
