A great fear I have faced since experiencing a Jesus overload, I might say, is the fear of returning to home and falling immediatly back into the life patterns I was living in before I left for the race. I was terrified at the thought of returning home and being drawn to scenes of life that were once so intruiging.
The squad has been together now for over a week in Phnom Pehn, Cambodia and now in Ho Chin Minh City, Vietnam. Both of these capitals are large, tourist cities, with distractions lurking around every corner. Being with the whole squad, I was able to spend time with others on the squad that I wouldn't get to see during the majority of the months. I was with some people from the squad one night, experiencing some of the "night life" in a major city abroad. I felt very connected to what I used to think was fun and enjoyable. I was dressed nice (for world race standards) and felt comfortable walking around at night with a few friends. It wast just like what I did all the time in downtown Pittsburgh every weekend. We end up stopping at a place to meet up with another teams contact. I had found myself sitting alone, just "people watching" when the man beside me started up conversation. My old self would have been FLATTERED at this oppertunity that arose. A cute, french man was talking to me. But I did not once revert to my previous ways of flattery, trickery, or deception. I chatted with this man for about 35 minutes before asking what kind of religious faith he had. He replied he was a Buddhist, went to temple every day, and his gods punished or gave him good things according to his right or wrong actions. I began explaining to him about my God. How great my God is, how much my God loves you no matter what, how happy my God can make you. He didn't seem to be understanding. He told me he was just happy how he was and where he was, and happy that he met me. My old self would have been enthralled with what this man was saying to me. But not this girl. It didn't even cross my mind twice what he was saying to me or about me. I wanted him to know the story of Jesus, I wanted and was determined to let him know of how great my God is. Not one part of me had any interest in how to get this man to like me more.
At the time I couldn't even believe the things that were coming out of my mouth and being thrown around in my head. My old self would never do this! I would never talk about God to a cute boy. But that's all I wanted to do. This is living proof that the Lord has taken me to new places. I am not the same person. And even on the race, I am not the same person as I was six months ago. Therefore, I should not be afraid to step into similar scenery when I return home. Becase I have the strength and love of God on my side. I am so excited for what He is showing me each and every day, the people he brings into my life, specificly for me to love on. I have a new found love: loving on people and building relationships. Some of my most favorite ministry last month was loving on our contacts and translators each and every day. I can't wait to see who the Lord brings into my life.
Lets get real AGAIN and talk about money:
I will be fully funded by February if monthly donations continue. However I have not worked this whole year. Therefore, after I am fully funded I would like to ask for personal donations to my personal account. This will help me get a head start on saving for when I return home and adjusting to American life. Pray and give as you feel led. Christmas is also right around the corner! If you would like my home address, please send me an email 🙂 Thank you all for your prayers and support!!
