What has it been like being home?
I have been trying to put it into thoughts to share it all with you.
What it has been like going from what everyone keeps telling me was an adventure of a lifetime to home.
Each month, we had a new place to call home. Whether it was trailers in Montenegro, or sharing a home with our wonderful hosts and their two lively daughters in Zimbabwe, or my tent, multiple months which I covered in scripture and encouragement during our month in Lesotho.
Each month, I tried to find a place, to get away, to be by myself, where it could be just me and the Lord.
You see, I’ve been asked so many times, how I find rest? And I always find myself answering, by sitting with Jesus.
And I can do other things, and I think we all find rest in Him, but that is always where I look first. For a secluded place to be alone with Him.
Each month I looked, some months I found places, some months it was harder, when we were among 3 teams or even the whole squad, finding a secluded spot was more difficult.
So when I came home I knew that was a priority.
Where could I go to be alone with Jesus?
I’ve never been one to spend time with Jesus while sitting in my bed, I like to differentiate where I sleep and where I want to be disciplined.
So that wouldn’t do. But, I can’t just sit on any couch, tv’s could be on, conversations could be distracting, I can’t rely on the weather to go outside.
Thus, Cass’s Corner.
For Christmas my team 1 team mate Anna Kate’s mom got our whole team cloth swabs with our initials on them. They’re pre-printed and already assigned to a color. It just happens that C goes with the color orange. Coincidence? I think not. Thanks Jesus.
So in the corner of my room hung up are my C’s. Along with so much more.
This year during our many end of the month meet ups as a squad, we did many encouragement type things. We loved encouraging each other (serious thank you to those who prompted these times), I have these on my wall in this corner, for those times when I don’t feel encouraged, or if I forget or if I just need to sit in truth.
For example, in Siem Reap, Cambodia our squad leaders placed a big board with all of names outside their room for 2 or 3 days, with sticky notes and pens available, to write what you see in everyone on the squad. You didn’t have to write for everyone, or anyone.
And then we all got together and brought the board and everyone had a chance to look over the board and see what everyone had to offer, gifts that we might have not known about. And it was a time to go ask for prayer from people. To go ask for someone to pray patience over you, or to pray discernment over you because you see them walking that out so well.
So I have on my wall, things people have seen in me, that I may or may not have seen in myself. Truths. Because we are vessels of Christ called to love and encourage each other in that way.
“Don’t dig up in doubt what you planted in faith.”
So Cass’s Corner is a reminder of that.
It’s also where I spend my time with Jesus. My space. Where I go to journal. To sit and listen. To cry.
My sister has walked in on me twice so far just crying there in that corner and it was so funny, she awkwardly backed up like oh sorry, and I said it’s ok I’m just crying with Jesus. Lol.
So, the question.
How has it been being home?
It’s been ok.
It has been better than I expected, honestly. But at other times, not.
Some moments are hard. Some are not so hard.
At least, at least 6 times a day things I hear/see/smell remind me of things I’ve experienced this past year. And I want to share those moments.
I don’t want you to feel like I’m bragging about my year, I’m not. Not everything I want to share is glamorous or big, some of it is hard and something I walked through.
I really want to share this year, but I think a big thing I am struggling with is figuring out when is appropriate to share, because, like I said, I don’t want to seem like I’m bragging, but I want to share His goodness.
I want to share about how Jesus healed my heart.
Oh my, I was talking with some of my young life girls (former but they’ll always be my yl girls) the other day about all the tattoos I got the the race (6) and the story behind each of them, and I got to share so much of God’s goodness and what He did through me in this time! How cool is that?! I cannot wait I keep sharing all of this.
So, it has been great seeing friends, family, catching up, but I am now trying to figure out how to do this bigger. How to keep walking, keep moving to glory. How to only look to Christ. I want to keep going forward towards what He has for me, whatever that is, not looking to the side, not looking back, just looking forward towards Christ doing all I can to be more like Him.
I am currently on my way to project search light in Gainesville, Georgia and going to meet up with my squad again! 1 month after the race has ended! We are gonna debrief month 12 (being home).
Thanks for following with my journey. (:
