Since April, something I’ve really wanted to grow in is finding my identity.
It’s something I’ve always wanted to know but never pursued hard enough to actually know.
One night at team time we discussed how we feel loved and how we feel like we are missing love from our team so we can surround each other in love.
When it was my turn to speak I shared that I feel loved by Words of affirmation (Not so much like “You’re pretty” but more like “You are a special member of this team”) receiving letters, and Quality Time (Love those one on ones)
I also shared that I didn’t feel loved in this way from my team instead I felt like I was left out and I felt constantly corrected instead of loved and that no one cared enough to seek me out.
I also shared that something I’ve constantly struggled with in my life is what I call the “Black Sheep Spirit” I never feel like I fit in and I constantly feel left out.
One of my teammates had something to say about this.
She spoke up and said “You feel this way because you don’t fully know your identity in Christ”
I told her she was right and that I truly desire to know my identity.
She then proceeded to speak straight up truth from God into my life.
She said “I am SICK and tired of watching the devil take control of your life and I will not let him do it anymore so I’m going to be fighting against him but you need to be fighting too!”
The other girls on my team were agreeing with her and standing behind me.
Another one of my team mates said she had a vision of dark figures pushing me down over and over and over again and all of a sudden I stand up and yell “ENOUGH” and put my arm out toward them to stop them and they couldn’t even get close to me anymore.
It was a really hard, incredible team time where I decided my girls were right and I need to start actively seeking out my identity in Christ.
So now begins the journey.
The journey to seeing myself the way God sees me, the way He created me to be.
Every morning I wake up early. (Which is straight up obedience for me because I am NOT an early riser.) So I wake up early and I get out my journal and my bible.
I have a list on my iPod I found of some truths God says about me and where in the bible it says those truths So I write down the truth and where it’s located in the bible then I find the verse in my bible which is NIV and write down the entire thing then I find it in the MSG bible and then I reflect on what that means and I apply it to my life.
By that time I understand and believe it and I write the truth down again but this time I sign my name next to it because I believe it!
Then all day I remind myself of this truth.
This is going to be a long hard journey, it’s going to be hard because I know I’m going to make the enemy so angry and he’s going to be attacking me left and right but I have Gods truth and 5 sisters standing at my side everyday fighting with me!
