A few weeks ago, my route was given our official World Race letter-of-the-alphabet by which we shall be called for the rest of this journey and I became a member of J squad! We were also given our squad color which we will be sporting in obnoxious excess during the week of training camp and it is GREEN! All of my Charlotte FortyNiners will undoubtedly appreciate the assurance that I will continue to bleed that 49er green even as a continent-hopping alumnus. Just a few days ago, it was brought to my attention that I also happen to be spending my last few months stateside in Apartment J with some of my favorite 49ers for roommates! Coincidence? I think not. If ever there was a time when I was more than 1000% certain that I am supposed to be leaving for Route 3 of The World Race come September, it is now.
Speaking of the ladies of Apartment J, our go-to response to anyone who might have asked how our Saturday was going yesterday was decidedly this: “We have had a doozy of a day!” (That’s a reference to our favorite satirical scary movie – Tucker and Dale vs. Evil. If you haven’t seen it yet, I believe it’s still available on Netflix.) Why? Well, let me tell you about our Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. (That’s a reference to a children’s book for those of you that didn’t catch it from the title. We’re obviously very mature young adults here.)
Allow me to set the scene for you. As of 8:45am on Saturday, June 30th, our apartment’s car situation was as follows:
Bethany – completely car-less for nearly three weeks. Car awaiting the installation of a new engine.
Cassady – sharing a family car with her brother, who is currently residing with her parents for the summer.
Erin – borrowing her mom’s minivan, because her beloved ’86 Camaro is awaiting repairs.
Kristen – the luckiest of the four roommates, driving her own car with relatively little trouble or inconvenience.
Less than 12 hours and a series of seriously unfortunate events later, this was the car situation of the ladies of Apt J:
Bethany – still completely car-less, for at least another half of a week.
Cassady – car-less after a stoplight fender-bender (admittedly her fault) on the way to work that put the family car in the shop. Awaiting news on the damage she caused.
Erin – car-less after she, Cassady, & Bethany stopped at a gas station (post-Cassady’s accident) only to discover a smoking radiator and a totally dislodged belt dangling from the bottom of her mom’s minivan.
Kristen – STILL the luckiest of the four roommates. She was sufficiently warned of the inevitable misfortune awaiting her if she tried to drive on this most cursed of days, and thus avoided her vehicle at all costs.
Have you ever heard of Murphy’s Law? It goes something like this: “Everything that can go wrong, will go wrong.” Now would probably be an appropriate time to mention that Erin’s last name is Murphy, and this terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day reminded us all of the dangers of living with a Murphy that is obviously a victim of Murphy’s Law. But like the good-hearted roommates that we are, we’ve agreed that our misfortunes can’t possibly be blamed on just one person, and thus have admitted that a Kuhnau Curse and an Aw-Shucks Schulte Statute should accept credit where credit is do. I’m claiming a Johnson Joy for Kristen because, clearly, she is luckiest roommate in all the land.
So there you have it – the story of Apartment J and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
For anyone who finds themselves caught in the aftermath of an equally as awful day, we have this advice to offer:
it’s nothing that a few cartons of ice cream and the first season of Veronica Mars can’t fix!
From our apartment to yours, we’re wishing you and yours a wonderful, incredible, so good, very spectacular day.
Love,
Cassady, Bethany, Erin, and Kristen
**Names have not been changed for the purposes of this story because we have accepted the inevitable – that Murphy’s Law, Kuhnau’s Curse, and Aw-Shucks Schulte’s Statute will continue to haunt us whether or not our identities are protected.
