I sit here writing this with tired eyes, a content heart, my worn travel day outfit on, and the cutest little King Charles Spaniel sitting next to me on my last international flight for the foreseeable future before arriving back in America.
(Which if you know me, the foreseeable future is really only about a month out at a time, but still, it seems significant.)
My time on the field with August Expedition Route is complete, with my sweet Team Shalom now scrambled into new places, new teams, raised into new leadership positions, and transitioning into new seasons with new people.
New. Of course, I’m entering into new things, too. My next season is ambiguous and unknown, a step of faith and choosing trust — that just as God led me out of my content circumstances at home to come out here and team lead, He will also provide, nurture and lead me when my feet are on American soil.
But it’s been tempting to question God — demanding insight into the purpose of this last season, and vision into what His will is for my next season. And while we’re at it, what He’s wanting for my entire life in general.
Selfishly, I want to see His will for my life step-by-step, in a way that I can perfectly understand and articulate to those who ask. I want to be able to flush out some big life plan that doesn’t sound like I’m a delusional 26-year old girl who is floating through time and space because I’m choosing to seek God and make decisions that don’t always seem on a trajectory of worldly success — having a fine career and fine marriage and a fine life and all the fine things that make perfect sense to the well-intending interview committee compiled of friends and acquaintances alike.
It’s been frustrating, wanting Him to lie out some yellow brick road, perfectly labeled “GOD’S WILL THIS WAY” for me to follow. And yet, He is leading me. It may not be a yellow brick road, but it’s stone by stone.
Over the last few weeks, I’ve come face to face with this truth:
God’s will for my life is not a hidden secret, but an ever-present call to intimacy with Him.
Have you read the book “Are you my Mother?”
It’s one that I used to read all the time as a kid. Basically, there’s a bird and she’s lost and she wanders to all sorts of animals, asking, “Are you my mother?” to which they each, of course, say no. A dog, kitten, and chicken later, she finally finds her mama bird — and the story ends with the bird nestled into her rightful family and place.
It’s pretty cute as a children’s story, but I realized that I treat my life like this. I’ve wandered around from thing to thing asking, “Are you my calling?” Hoping that one day, I too will stumble upon it, feel seen and complete, and nestle into my life.
Long-term missions? Business marketing? Marriage? Writing? Having a family? Girls ministry? The World Race? Are you my calling?
It wasn’t until leaving my time as an Alumni Team Leader that I realized that I didn’t feel quite as content, or quite as fulfilled, as I thought I would feel. It was confusing at first, but now, I’m grateful. Because God’s calling on my life – and yours – cannot be wrapped into one season, one task, one person.
Don’t get me wrong, purpose is good. God’s will is good. Desiring to follow God with your job, your family, your free time — definitely good.
But seeing Kingdom come in every aspect of your life? That’s the life abundant that Christ died for.
If only we were people who searched for Christ Himself the way that we search for our “callings” in this world. Hear me: My aim is not to undermine our talents, gifts, personality and passions as children of God, but instead, to glorify the Giver of all good things and Lover of our souls.
Undoubtedly, God calls us. But calls us to what?
Over and over, He calls us to Himself.
In Scripture, we see so much evidence of this. God calls us to HIS purpose (Romans 8:28), a holy life (2 Timothy 1:9), to follow in Christ’s example (1 Peter 2:21), one true hope (Ephesians 4:4), fellowship with Jesus (1 Corinthians 1:9), and to walk worthy of the call (Ephesians 4:1).
These things God calls us into are HIS. He calls us into His things.
And what the Bible says about our calling? Our calling is TO Him as Christ and Savior. Our calling is our physical calling upon the name of God. (Jeremiah 33:3, Acts 2:21, Psalm 86:5, Psalm 145:18)
“Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I shall rescue you, and you will honor Me.” Psalm 50:15.
The disciples were called to be fishers of men. Abraham was called to have descendants that were numbered greater than the stars. Moses was called to lead the Israelites to the Promised Land. Mary was called to have a baby. Paul was called to preach to the Gentiles. Jesus was called to die.
They didn’t get a step-by-step proposal, they received something better — intimacy with the Father, the Son and Holy Spirit. The purpose in all of these callings was not a call to personal fulfillment, but a call to faith in promise, a call to see and bring heavenly glory, a call to tell His story.
My gifts and my calling – no matter where I am, where I work, who I’m with – are uncontainable when centered on Him and not limited to a job description, marital status, or leadership position. My time on the World Race may be finished, but God is still leading me into running a race of joy and perseverance that will bring me closer and closer to Him, forever. (Hebrews 12:1-2).
Because calling isn’t something you find and complete. Calling is being with Him — wherever and however that may be.
“And He appointed twelve, so that they would be with Him, and that He could send them out to preach, and to have authority to cast out the demons.”
Mark 3:14-15.
“God’s gracious gifts and calling are irrevocable.” Romans 11:29.
“Don’t get stuck on what your calling is. You are called to follow Jesus wherever He leads.” Beth Moore.
