“We are loved by God. We are precious to God, and the greatest gift He has for us is to not let our preciousness become our god. God will be our God. God alone, forever. And this is infinite love.” – John Piper
I remember one time as a teenager reading this quote on Tumblr (it’s fine, you can judge me) that was something along the lines of “love people, not things; use things, not people” and acknowledging that so frequently I had seen that quote take weight, with people mixing up what to love and what to use.
If you’re anything like me, the phrase of “feeling used” has a pretty negative connotation. Feeling used implies that you feel that you’re only as good as what you offer, that you were ‘used’ to achieve a purpose. For me, this idea of feeling used brings up emotions of heartbreak, rejection, and feeling overlooked. Feeling used and feeling loved aren’t synonymous in my mind, and its a hard concept for me to think that someone who loves me would use me.
And yet it was weird to me when I recognized that often when I would find myself talking to God, the author and perfector of Love, I was so frequently saying, “Use me, use me, use me.”
While yes, I did and do want to feel purposeful for God’s kingdom, I realized that I really didn’t want to feel like I was being used by God the way that people selfishly ‘use’ other people.
I didn’t realize it, but this request I was making stirred up a breakdown in my relationship with Him. When I would tell God to use me, I was seeing Him through the lens of my experience with others who had ‘used’ me in the past. I was functioning out of an assumption that God was only wanting to use me to achieve something that He wanted – like I was impersonal and replaceable means to an end that ultimately only benefited Him. I realized I had the belief that if God only created me for His own glory, that somehow cheapened His love for me.
And yes, God’s heart is after His own glory. But God’s heart is not one after manipulation, pride or works. And the truth is, I am loved more deeply when He loves me for His sake because only in Him, from Him, through Him and for Him can I find true meaning, purpose, and love in my own life.
God’s heart for us is just that – for US. We are not only the means to share His love, we are the end of His love. His heart for us to see our hearts come alive. The purpose of my life is not to be used by God; the purpose of my life is to by LOVED by Him.
Did God create me for His glory? Undoubtedly.
Did God create me because He loves me? Also, yes.
Because God is Love, the Father’s motive is always out of Love. The more I dive into this love and embrace what it means to be adopted into His family and the lengths that He went through to reconcile me there, the more I see that God’s love is heightened, not cheapened, by being founded in Him.
So do I still desire being used by God? Of course. It is only when I am so lost in His heart for me that I glorify Him, and that I can share that love with others. And that is what being “used” by Him is truly about – allowing Him to love me as His child and pointing others to His love so that in Him their hearts can find real love and life.
“In this is love, not that we have loved God but that He loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” 1 John 4:10-11.
