Woooooo! My last blog from the states until I get back in 3 months. Super crazy. I want to take a step back & thank every single one of you who subscribed to my blog because you’ve all helped shape me in one way or another & I most definitely wouldn’t be here without you guys ( a specific shoutout to my father: #teamb, grams/gramps: I def wouldn’t be here w/o you guys in more ways that one, & the Frasier’s: we absolutely love you guys). Everyone else, I LOVE YOU. So with that being said, this is going to be a place I post what I’ve walked through, what I’m learning, random things I’ve participated in etc. But it’s also a place of vulnerability & I hope a place of love & encouragement & I walk through this new, challenging season of like. We’re about to board!! Here we goooooooo!
So, ever since the end of senior year I’ve really put God in a box & left Him at the top of my closet. About a month ago, after I KNEW I was going on this trip I decided I was going to ask the Lord to tear me apart & break me down. I asked Him to remind me who He is, why He’s so good, & to lead me back home. Now my literal home but lead me back to His truth, His love, just to lead me back to Him because I know everything else will follow. Even though right now I am having a hard time believing it, I KNOW His truths are real.
One of our first team times this weekend, I can’t remember which one specifically hah, our leader, Courtney who is INCREDIBLE & the PERFECT girl for us, gave me a word that she felt the Lord gave her before she even met me. She told me he spoke to her about me being a bridge & she asked I pray over it. In the midst of this crazy, emotional, rollercoaster of a weekend I, naturally, have been convicted of the sin I have been living it. It’s big & I have felt a load of shame, guilt, & have felt unqualified for this trip because of that specific sin. I was praying for the Lord to speak to me, to call me HOME. & He did. Last night during worship my advisor, Ronny, came up behind me to lay his hands on me & speak over me. Before Ronny’s hands even touched my shoulders I started bawling. Ronny then lays his hands on my shoulders & proceeds to say “the Lord is inviting you to come sit with Him at His throne, He wants to be the bridge, He’s saying daughter, come sit with me.” GUYS. that’s exactly what I needed. The Lord used Ronny to answer my prayer & invite me home. “Daughter, come sit with me.” Are you kidding me!?!??????!!!!!! He is giving me the choice now. Am I going to go sit with Him & come home or am I going to forego it & continue to live in my cycle of sin.
I know this is long but I really felt like sharing this moment with you all. I’ll touch bases with ya when I can!
