There have been moments on this trip where I’ve said “that’s my white privilege speaking.” I said it jokingly but it’s true. I am privileged. I am privileged because I am white. Because I was born in & reside in America. Because I am a female. These are all factors about my life I never had & will never have control over. I will never know why I was born into a hard working white family in Idaho versus another state. I’ll never know why I was LUCKY enough to be raised in Southern California, or why the Lord chose my parents & grandparents to have the roles they have in my life. But He knows. He knew when I was going to be born, to whom, & how my life was going to go long before I was ever thought of. Hard to logistically think about but that’s the Lord. He doesn’t want to be thought about logistically. He wants me & you to just believe. Believe in His greatness, believe in His grace, in His boldness, trust His plans, to just trust Him. Easier said than done but also not. He wants us to pursue Him & even in our wondering He’s still there.
Back to why I chose to write a blog on my privilege. I know it seems like a bit of an odd subject to write about but everyday that passes I realize more & more how privileged I am. We’ve officially been here 6 weeks with 6 weeks to go & I have seen more poverty than honestly, some of you will ever see other than in pictures. I say that not because “oh look at me” but because pictures can only say so much.
I am not new to seeing poverty. I’ve seen the tin “homes”, I’ve smelt the human feces in an extremely poor, poverty stricken community. I’ve seen the effects of malnourished children. It’s nothing new to me. In fact, for a couple weeks of this trip I was numb to it. How sad is that? I’ve witness enough poverty first hand that it no longer breaks me like it did the first time I saw it.
Well, A few weeks ago I decided to switch up my feedings & go to the afternoon feeding versus the morning feeding. Apparently it wasn’t the normal Monday afternoon feeding. But looking back, there was a reason that was the feeding Was switched on that day. The Lord knew I needed to experience such brokenness & injustice that day. He knew that was the seed I needed planted in order for me to run back to Him. That my friends, was the beginning of my breakthrough.
