so even before i left the states, i was asking god
why do you want me in mexico? what do you want me to do while i am with the jan 07 world racers? what is it that you want to do in my life?
but i have realized this week that those questions aren´t really as important as we make them out to be. you see it´s not about what i do or don´t do while i am here. sure the experiences i´ve had help me to be able to share with the group, but it´s not even about my experiences. it´s about how those experiences have changed me, made me more into the person god has created me to be. you see i have been a blessing not because of the things i have done or taught while here in mexic, i have been a blessing because i have been myself.
i learned a lot just `sitting at the feet´of andrew, gary, seth, and bob the last few days. as i served them, prayed with them, talked with them and listened to them.
it´s not about doing,
it´s about being.
it´s not about dying everyday,
it´s about living everyday.
the best gift i can give to anyone is to just be myself. to be the fullness of who god has created me to be. it sounds so easy, yet i have lived most of my life trying to be someone that i am not, trying to fit into the mold of the people around me. but the truth is that a part of me is dying inside when i am not allowing myself to do all the things that i normally want to do. i am ok with the fact that i will never be like everyone else, and to be honest i am happy about that.
so here and now i start living life to the fullest…. i am going to be myself everyday, in every way, no matter who else is around or what the circumstances might be. i am no longer going to hide what christ has placed inside of me…. i am no longer to deprived the world of the gifts he has placed in my life…. i am no longer going to deprive myself of being free to be me