For those of you who may not follow me on Facebook, this post will be a bit of a surprise. To those of you who have followed my journey here AND on Facebook, this will cover what you know and a little more!! Enjoy!
At the beginning of January I had returned from a family vacation in Florida and had come to the conclusion that I was not going on the World Race. The Lord had not provided the funds (I was still $6000 short for the launch deadline.) and He must have something different for me. I didn’t have a plan B, so I spent several days crying and praying, and doing listening prayer trying hear the Lord. Three days before launch I had an email: “HI Casandra, You recently had an anonymous donor give two donations of $3,000 equaling $6,000 towards your fundraising goal.They wanted to me to email you to make sure you knew you reached your next deadline. 🙂 ” WHAT?! I could hardly believe it. A Miracle… a huge six thousand dollar miracle… I was going on the World Race! Time to start packing.
Fast forward to March. By the time we were in Month 3, Country 3 I had already been to 6 doctors regarding a health issue that started as soon as we landed in Africa. I kept praying for direction as to how to handle my situation. I had several people praying for me stateside and from my team and squad, but nothing was changing. Finally, after much heartache and lots of sickness I made the decision to come back to the states for treatment. (You can catch up on things here: https://www.youcaring.com/casandra-struthers-539316)
Upon arrival back in Iowa I headed straight to the ENT and began a series of tests. Because I had such a strange array of symptoms and an audiology report that showed an “uncharacteristic” pattern related to anything specific, there was no definitive answers. This led to more appointments and more tests.
Fast forward again through the long month of tests and appointments, it’s present day, April 21st. I’m typing this from the waiting room. No, not the waiting room of the doctor’s office but the waiting room of the Lord. I’m typing this with a heavy heart. I’m typing this with no direction for my future, no answers about my health and unable to return to the World Race. I’m in the waiting room.
I was thinking about it this morning. About waiting, about my future. About what it means to wait and how much of our lives is actually spent, waiting. I found this interesting:
According to a Timex survey, Americans wait on average of 20 minutes a day for the bus or train, 32 minutes whenever they visit a doctor and 28 minutes waiting in security lines whenever they travel.
That’s only a fraction. That doesn’t include, waiting in line at the store, waiting at stop lights every day, waiting for our food to cook or be brought to us, for someone to answer the door etc. We spend a lot more time waiting than we realize. In the waiting, we don’t know what the outcome is going to be. So this shouldn’t surprise me, right?! That I’m in a spiritual waiting room. That I’m at a place where I don’t know when the light is going to turn green, or if the person ahead of me in line is going to need to ask a hundred questions before proceeding to check out, or if someone is ever going to answer the door…. metaphorically speaking of course. 😉
This has been one of the hardest seasons in my life. Unable to understand why I would have that huge miracle only to have to turn around and come home; or why I would be “allowed” so to speak to push for a dream so much only to have it cut short. (Maybe this is where I stop and yell “PLOT TWIST”! haha) Seriously though, I don’t pretend to understand. What I do know is this: He is still a good Father. He is still on the Throne. He still loves me. He still has a plan. This was not a surprise to Him. This is not a difficult thing for Him. This will all work together for good, somewhere, some way, some how. He is still God. He is still in control.
So for now, I say THANK YOU! Thank you a million times over for going on this [short] journey with me. Thank you for supporting me, whether by finances, prayer, encouraging words, or virtual high fives! I couldn’t have done it without you, each of you. I pray that in some way my journey has ministered to someone, one of you perhaps and that whatever the Lord has for me next will be used for His glory as well. Until then, I’ll wait here and if you’d feel so inclined, you can continue to follow my journey at my personal blog: http://agirlsetapart.blogspot.com/ I haven’t used the site in quite some time, but I’ll be sharing some things soon. (Be sure to subscribe for updates like you did here.) In the meantime you can head over and read the posts from last year etc. and get to know me a little more.
Blessings!
Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD! ~Psalm 27
