PSA: Longest one yet!
I loved training camp! I might be one of the few to say that at this point but it has been a week out of camp and I miss every moment of it. However, that isn’t to say it did not come without it’s difficulties. But first I tell you most of the good stuff because I could write forever on the amazing things that happened at training camp.
First, I love my squad and my team! Going into camp, I was worried about our squad. We were small in number, only 22, when most were in their 40s, not to mention there are only three guys. But after the first night and no one from our squad was dancing and hollering with the other ones… I knew I had found my people.
We soon became known as the chill squad, which was perfectly find with me! That’s not to say that by the end of camp we were the best but that is just my opinion. Everyone has something the each of us need and I can’t wait for the next 11 months with them!
I also loved to meet people from other squads. R Squad, route 3 on our January launch, only has two guys going on their trip so we had an amazing time getting to hang with them. The Men’s Hike allowed all of us to really get to sit down and discuss what it truly meant to be Men of God and how different that looks from what reality tells us it is supposed to look like.
We ate weird foods, half the time we all ate off the same plate without silverware. Don’t worry, germs didn’t exist there except for those that somehow got sick, still don’t understand that one. We played a lot of Ultimate Frisbee and sat in the awful folding chairs for long hours… and I wouldn’t take a minute of my time there back.
However it was not always easy. I did not pack correctly and froze most days. Once again, folding chairs are awful and my tailbone is still bruised. I had to take 35 degree showers in 40 degree weather. My new tent decided to flood on it’s own without asking me and I was not prepared. But honestly, this was not the worst part.
The true difficulty of training camp was my inability to hear from God, or how I wanted to. From the moment I arrived I realized the Holy Spirit was there. I just didn’t think it was talking to me. Everyone around me seemed to be hearing clearly from God and I stood there most nights during worship like I was alone in the room. Many of y’all know that feeling when you are left on the fence while God is with everyone else. It is the worst feeling to have as a Christian.
Many of our discussions focused on the intimacy with God, growing the personal relationship with Christ and using the Holy Spirit. Every night people would come away so filled while I sat there getting more aggravated that I could not reach that moment. Everything came to a climax when we talked of our identity in how we see ourselves. Those around me felt free while it only brought me down to my lowest of the week.
On my walk back I fought with God on why he left me alone. He had called me to this right? So why did I feel so alone? As I stood in the dark feeling like I was having a one way conversation with God, my friend Johnathan came out of the blue and that was one of the highlights of my training camp. He spoke such life into me and just listened to what I was going through. He told me to go back to the basics. So that night I just opened the Bible.
After opening it to what I thought I needed to read, nothing came of it. My Bible fell off my lap as I adjusted in my tent and it fell open to 1 John 3 and 4, where it only talks about God’s love for us the voice of false spirits. No lie I sat there for the first night in blissful peace.
I wanted my burning bush moment. I wanted to hear God’s voice clearly as if he stood in front of me. But what I needed is what he already told me in his word. What I needed was to listen to those he was speaking through to me all week long.
I did not have my burning bush moment yet… and that’s okay. Because he also speaks quietly in the wind. I want to challenge all of you reading this to make sure you listen to Him in all situations because what you need may not be the clear voice but one verse from Romans or a word from that Christ filled friend in your life. If you wait for that “one moment” before you decide to step out in faith like I tried to do, you will miss so many opportunities! That moment might never come like we want it to but will always come like we need it to. For me I wanted a clear voice directly to me while God spoke to me daily through other people. Also never forget that wonderful tool he gave us called his Word. I promise, it has some really great stuff in it.
Thank you for reading and I promise to post more! I know it was long but for me this is what I needed to share!
Thanks and gig ’em!
