“You make your plans then you hear God laughing”
To see where my life is right now, this lyric is exactly how I picture the Lord to be through my time of trying to figure out and plan what I wanted to do in college. Visualizing Him looking down at me, arms crossed just laughing, shaking his head and hearing Him say, “I’m about to flip your life upside down, but one step at a time.”
Throughout my first three years of high school I had my mindset on one plan post-high school, The United States Naval Academy. Aside from this I wanted to, well actually aside from this my mind drew blank. “If I’m not going to The Academy, then I guess I’m not going anywhere.” This was exactly how my head took grasp of the situation. “Athletically, physically and mentally I know I’m fit to meet the criteria or surpass it for this goal,” I knew, but scholastically my effort, it slacked. Never doing bad in school, but never doing what I was capable of from lack of self discipline. I believed that what I lacked in academics would be made up by my resume of athletics, with lacrosse being my strong suit, extracurriculars, accolades, achievements, leadership roles and the way I thought I would be able to take a grasp of the interview process like taking a paper ball and tossing it into a trashcan. I started talking to the lacrosse coaches at Navy and I was beyond thrilled, yet soon finding out they just made their final decisions for their 2018 recruiting class. Moving onto the next option, finding out to even get a chance of walking on, my initial application must be accepted. “Lacrosse isn’t going to help.” It hit me. My life flipping upside down? One step at a time? Yeah, this was that first step.
As Junior year came to an end, I still had the same goal and began trying to fill up my summer with leadership opportunities for my USNA resume. One of these I had been wanting to do for awhile but chose to seize the opportunity by doing it now to enhance my resume list even more. Summer Work Crew with YoungLife. “Month long serving to high schoolers/middle schoolers.” Check. Despite all YoungLife had done for me and this chance for what I could give back, I looked at it as another line on my resume for The Naval Academy. Not even thinking about what I was going to get out of this month from The Lord, but only that I could add it to my leadership roles. I was supposed to start my USNA application right when I got home, but when I got to work crew God took me on the next step. Step two of what felt like my dreams were completely over, yet losing no joy.
“Don’t apply.”
I heard in my gut and questioned it in a jokingly manner, then again
“You’re not supposed to do this application.”
Then sarcastically asking myself, “well then what application is this?”
“It’s not what you’re supposed to do, there’s more.”
I didn’t question it again. I knew it was about The Naval Academy. You know the old saying “go with your gut,” that’s what I did, or at least what I thought at the time. To later find out this “going with my gut” was actually me going with my God. Which is what made this insanely difficult decision somewhat easier. The first time I can truly look back and see myself saying yes to The Lord and not to my wants, although I had no idea at the time this is what I was doing.
Senior year; college applications sent in, lacrosse season starting, acceptances coming in. I was applying in pharmaceuticals, something I’ve never wanted to do EVER. The eye-catcher; I’d be making over $100,000 right out of college which was enough for me to try something new even if I didn’t really want to do it. Being accepted one way or another into all the schools I applied to felt very satisfying but still didn’t fill my thirst for whatever it was I was searching for. Collegiate recruiting started coming in heavier and heavier for lacrosse, that was even more satisfying. Coaches texting me, emailing me, calling me, trying to work out times to talk. Wow. Offering scholarship money, benefits about the different schools, asking me to come visit and more. This was it, or at least I thought. Then the satisfaction that it all gave me slipped away. Slipping away right around the same time I reconnected with a friend of mine. Will, a guy I met in Colorado awhile back was doing this thing called The World Race. I remember some of the first texts from him while on the race were something like,
“A lady on the streets just caught a rat”
“She’s showing us how to cook it”
“She just tossed it in the fire”
Sounds fun right? If you know me it also sounds like an environment I need to be in. Just casually talking about it and what all he had been doing, little did I know this was God growing my heart for Him and opening a doorway that led to me being where I am now. Weeks and days go by, as my college aspirations deplete more and more. Then one day deciding to google, “The World Race” to find myself reading different blogs of different testimonies and stories from racers. I wanted to do this, experience it myself. Not seeing the instagram pictures and blogs from my friends on the race, but posting my own. I decided not to share this with my parents for how often college was a conversation in my household, I thought they would think I’m crazy. So college it is I guess.
The next month at winter camp for YoungLife at a property called Carolina Point, college was a huge conversation among my friends and I. The World Race, however, never came up in my mind, just college. For most of us it was the last time being campers, also that graduation thing was happening in right around 3 months. Weird to say at the least. While talking to one of my friends Mc about college and how we were both unsure on plans, led to her bringing up The World Race. How she was planning on applying and had been looking at it for sometime. I felt almost shocked for having it come back up when I least expected. Funny thing is right when “The World Race” came out of her lips I heard the same voice that I believed to be my gut just say,
“Yes.”
I quickly responded about how I was applying too, because at this time I knew this was what I was supposed to do. Yet before I was unsure, but now I knew this is it. The reason it was brought up yet again, in a conversation of college, what I thought I had decided on. This, this conversation is what I like to call a divine appointment.
Step three of this staircase the Lord was flipping my life upside down on started on my staircase at home. Figuring out how I’m going to bring this up to my parents without being like disowned. How am I supposed to tell them, “I don’t want to go to college I want to do something else.” when they are probably going to ask about college the night I get home at the dinner table? The answer: I get my own dinner that night and don’t tell them. Well that plan changed when I walked in the door. Seeing my dad on the couch, my brain started to do its thing and sorting through a couple million different situations. He then asked me the usual, “How was it?” with me answering the usual, “it was good.” Starting to walk up the stairs it came to me, a simple drive by. Why? Because theres no way I’m sitting down in front of both of them to break this news. So I stopped and said,
“Dad, I might take a gap year.”
Which he simply and sternly replied,
“You’re not taking a gap year”.
So I walked up a couple more steps and said,
“I want to do something called The World Race”.
Not looking at him because I didn’t want to see how he felt about this. Yet he said
“Carter, I promise you I’m not going to pay for you to race around the world”.
So I looked at him and said.
“Dad, google it.”
and went up to my room.
I guess The Lord made my dad not only pick up his phone and google it, but also feel that this was truly something He was bringing me to. I say this because when my dad came upstairs he was crying. Before I’ve seen the man cry as many times as I can count on one hand, with probably 3 of those fingers count because of dogs. He told me he couldn’t think of anything else he would rather me do next year over this. Wow, so many different feelings rushing through me; relief and assurance, the two I believe to be the most prominent at this time. If anyone in my family were to be supportive I knew it was my dad from what missions have done in his life. His brother living in Africa as a missionary for over 30 years, going to see him, and several trips to the Dominican Republic and Haiti over the years. Then this decision was brought to my mom, then my sister, then the application was started, sought through, completed and submitted. Days went by, I got my phone call and I was accepted. This thing’s really going to happen, but I have to raise $15,800 haha. All I personally have to say about that one is God provides, indefinitely. Oh and thanks Jesus.
Ever since I said yes to The Lord and the race He has blown my mind with His works every single day. Filling me with knowledge, wisdom and His love for me, and everyone else. I although do fear waking up from this life that He has given me, for at most times it truly feels like a dream. Going from having the dream of attending one of the most prestigious schools which is in Annapolis, Maryland, to currently living in Quito, Ecuador and moving to some part of Peru which I’m unsure of yet in 14 days. All in His timing and guidance, this is what led me to feel like I’m living in a dream. Living out and doing what my Father The Lord has had planned for me, over what Carter decides to plan for himself.
Thanks Thomas Rhett for inspiring me to write this blog from that truthful yet simple lyric.
Maybe you will read this too.
