Training Camp was full of long days sweating (no joke I have never sweat that much in my life), cold bucket showers, nights sleeping on the hard ground, morning workouts, and a plethora of purple, green, red, blue, and orange clothing to represent the 5 different squads launching in September. It was also so full of love, new friends that have quickly become family, grace and acceptance from people who had known me for barely a week, and so much thankfulness for our Creator and this beautiful community and adventure that He has invited us in to.
It’s crazy to think back to when I prayed for the Lord to “wreck me” and I thought He wrecked me by inviting me on the World Race, but freakin’ wow….I never knew He would wreck me the way He did in just 10 days at Training Camp.
The Lord invited me to be fully known by Him and by people I had known for just a week and for the first time in my life I let others know me and yes it was scary, but freedom is so sweet. I have been self-conscious all my life and I always second-guess my words and actions. I like being liked by people. I have always heard things like, “you’re beautiful the way God made you,” “God loves you,” and “He is enough,” but there has always been a disconnect in my mind. Now I truly know and believe that I am a beloved daughter of the King. Not only does God love me, but He even likes me and that is almost more powerful than His love because He knows me and He created me and He actually likes me. And that is enough. He is a good Father and I am loved by Him, that’s who I am.
Along with abandoning my self-consciousness, I also accepted the abandonment of my family. As I have been preparing for the World Race I have said “Oh giving up my bed, favorite foods, a mirror, and hot showers will be fine, I don’t need those things anyway.” The one thing I have clung to and not been willing to give up is my family. I have said “Oh I will talk to them often and I’ll stay connected as much as I can.” But at Training Camp the Lord shattered this “comfort” that I was still clinging to.
“Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.”
Matthew 10:37-39
The Lord has invited me to lay this comfort of my family at His feet. He has made me realize that even though I want my family and they are safe and comforting to me; He is all that I truly need. I don’t need people, I need Him first and foremost. He has invited me to find rest and comfort in Him. I truly desire the Lord more than ever. I want more. I want more of God and with that it means I have to give some things up like my family and friends for a bit.
This scene from the Lion King comes to mind when I think of the Lord showing me the “more” He has for me. He is offering me the world if I follow Him completely. I want what He is offering. I have kept the Lord at arms length my whole life because I wanted to keep my little bit of control, but I am tired of doing things my way because they never quite turn out right. I am giving the Lord complete control of my life and He is taking me deeper and He is taking me around the world.
Goodbyes are hard, but every time I say bye I am saying yes to the Lord. However, even though I am metaphorically giving my family up for a little while I know that the Lord is with me and He has given me more people to call family for the next year.
These 46 beautiful people are my brothers and sisters that will be loving me through the next year. But wait it gets better…… These 6 beautiful people are my team that I will literally spend 24/7 with living in community and sharing food and eating ice cream and loving people and trying new things and seeking the Lord.
My team is a sweet gift from the Lord. God gave me this gift for depth and a more intimate relationship with the Him. We are 7 broken people who love God and love His people so dearly. I am so excited for what the Lord is going to teach me through these 6 brothers and sisters of mine.
Here are a few quick fun facts about our team:
Brooks (24) is our team leader. He is from Loganville, Georgia. He got slimed at Nickelodeon one time.
Amanda (24) is from Olympia, Washington. She was a gymnast growing up.
Derek (25) is from Casper, Wyoming. He was burnt by the stuff that’s inStretch Armstrong when he was younger and he still has a scar.
Kristin (26) is from Fargo, North Dakota. She played rugby in college.
James (26) is from Fargo, North Dakota. He broke both forearms playing football in high school and he got two metal plates and nine screws to fix it (ouch).
Annaka (29) is from Madison, Virginia. She has an extra bone in her knee.
Brooks, Amanda, and I are all twins. Kris and James have been married for 4 years and it is going to be so cool to have that perspective on our team. Derek and I are the only ESFJ personality types on our team. Annaka and I have both moved 10 times in our lives. Amanda nor I have ever broken a bone.
The average age on our team is 25. We are one of the oldest teams on our squad. Our name Kingdom 217 comes from Act 2:17. We are the “old dreamers.”
‘In the last days,’ God says, ‘I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy. Your young men will see visions, and your old men will dream dreams.
Acts 2:17
There are still so many things that I am trying to process and put into words from Training Camp. However, this is what I know for sure: we serve a good, good Father who desires intimacy with us and for the first time in my life I desire it back (are you seeing the pattern here… “for the first time in my life” moments happened a lot at training camp). I am changed after two weeks and I can’t wait to see what God will do in 11 months.The Holy Spirit is in me and using me already and that is what I desire and that is why I am doing the World Race.
This song has been my prayer for the past few weeks and this is why I am doing this crazy thing for 11 months. I want to be called higher.
Much love, Carson
