Fish bowl
For me India had two sides but I didn’t see the second one until I had left.
Side 1
India was a hard country for me. While I was there I questioned a lot of things including:
What am I even doing here?
Am I even making an impact?
What’s the point of this if the work we are doing seems pointless?
Why is this so hard for me?
God why can’t I hear you?
Where are you?
Those are just a few of the questions I asked myself and God.
On my last day living in India, I had already packed everything up and was ready to leave. Me and a couple friends decided to walk around a little village before we left. We stopped at one of the little snack shop things and got some ice cream. As we were walking we passed the church that was being built. The church we had helped build, which had come a long way since when we first got there. Those thousands of bricks were touched and prayed for by each one of the racers. Even though we didn’t get to see the finished building or all the people gathered there in fellowship, I had a peace about what we had done in Sielmat, India.
Now all the questions I had for God when in India: I couldn’t have felt further from God. Every morning I read my Bible and prayed, yet I wasn’t invested in what I was doing. I was doing it because I knew I should, not because I wanted to. I wasn’t trying very hard. But in any relationship, you have to work for it; you can’t expect the other person to pick up your slack and then expect it to be perfect. This is where the fish bowl comes in to play. I was constantly swimming in this circle of “God where are you? Why can’t I hear you? Why have you left me?” One day it was like he pulled me out of the fish bowl in order to watch from the outside. He played back those two months in Sielmat, India and showed me that he was there the whole time. He was there even when I didn’t think he was. God never left me.
Yes India was hard but God moved in both our village and in me.
Your girl,
CG
