In vain you rise early and
stay up late, toiling for food to eat- for He grants sleep to those He
loves…for while they sleep He provides for them. Psalm 127:2
Reading this verse today, I realize I’ve always understood
it to be different from what it is actually saying. Ever since I can remember
I’ve not slept well. Unless heavily drugged, I cannot sleep through the night
entirely. Call me an insomniac, who knows. Because of this, I always look at
the aforementioned verse and assure myself that God will give me rest no matter
how much sleep I did or did not get the night before. Because He loves me, even
when I sleep for 5 hours, I will feel as if I slept 8-9 hours so that I can have
strength to do His work.
Now I don’t doubt this as truth, there are numerous times in
the Bible where God promises rest and strength to His people, but I do not
believe that’s what the Psalmist is addressing here. This, to me, is about worry.
It’s the mother who can’t sleep until her teenager comes
home safe and sound from that party.
It’s the student tossing and turning the night before a
final exam, who, no matter how much he studied, will not feel at rest until he
receives his grade.
It’s the bookie awaiting the outcome of a sporting event.
It’s the defendant sitting restlessly in
anticipation of the jury’s decision.
It’s living paycheck to paycheck, not sure how to pay that next bill.
It’s the fear of the unknown. The fear of what we cannot
control.
Often times I find myself lying awake in bed making to-do
lists, planning strategies for this or that, my mind is constantly at work.
Instead of trusting what God can and will do, I take matters into my own hands. While I say I trust God, I still go about as if I am the one making things happen, as if I have control. It becomes about me, not God. And there is no rest in that.
Here the verse says we waste ourselves rising early and staying up late toiling
for food, doing whatever we can to make a living, provide for ourselves and our
families, to stay financially comfortable- but all that is in vain if we aren’t trusting the LORD. God
is the giver of life, the provider of all
things and we are free to rest
in knowing that He will provide. Always. Because of His
faithfulness we do not fear the coming day, we do not fear the unknown or that
with which we have no control. We do not fear, we rest.
What are you holding onto, toiling for in vain? Why not open up your hands and trust God to fill them again?
This lesson has been particularly convicting to me as I give
all my attention to raising support for my AIM apprenticeship starting March 5.
I am still in need of $2,000 to begin and another $1,500 each month to stay in
the program. I have spent all my efforts on making this work, raising support,
getting the numbers to go up, but all this is in vain if I’m not stepping back
and allowing God to do His job: provide.
While I’m waiting I will serve you
While I’m waiting I will worship
While I’m waiting I will not be faint
I’ll be running the race
Even while I wait
-John Waller, While I’m Waiting
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donations are gladly accepted here.
