At Joy Community Center, testimonies are given on a regular basis. Testimonies of how God is working in the lives of the community, often in the midst of really tough situations. Many of the church congregation we interact with are teenagers. These teenagers have displayed more trust in the Lord than I have seen in many adults I’ve interacted with in my life. They stand up in front of a congregation (of mostly children and other youth) and proclaim God’s goodness in the middle of their situations. Many are the only Christian in their family. Others have family members who are blind, sick, or unloving. These teenagers have a passion for the Lord and want to bring the Gospel to all parts of Cambodia. They want to start their own churches, lead Bible studies, and still they yearn for an even greater heart for their country.
We’ve been given such a special opportunity to be a part of this community this month, and as such we get to share scripture teachings and our own testimonies with them. (Note: When I say “testimony,” I’m not referring to one’s entire life story, but a short testament to how God has worked for His glory in one’s life.)
Last week, I had the opportunity to share a testimony of God’s work in my life. In a nutshell, this is what I said:
I believed for a lot of my life that I am not seen. That I am not noticed. I believed that I was alone. I knew in my head that the Lord was with me, but it did not seem real to me. I knew that the Lord loved me, but I still felt unloved, unseen, and unwanted. Although the Lord has brought me a long way in this, it is still something I struggle with frequently.
Whether it was because of ways my family treated me, wounds from friends, or simply lies I believed along the way, this concept that I am seen, heard, and loved by the Lord has been a regular topic about which the Lord has been teaching me.
In the last few months I have especially seen the Lord change this thinking in me. He is SO faithful in loving us. He has repeatedly affirmed that He created me just as I am. He speaks to me in little ways as well as more obvious ways- sunsets, cool breezes, and His voice in the quiet stillness are all ways He shows His love to me. While I am definitely imperfect, He has clothed me with His righteousness- the old is gone and washed away, and He has made me new. I’m not perfect, but He is doing a good work in me.
In November, I wrote a list of how I saw myself. Lies that I’ve believed for various reasons. On the list were words like, “timid, powerless, afraid, unliked, unknown, unseen, not trusted, unheard, unloved, and not worth it.” Then the Lord began to speak to me. He said tome, “Carrie, I see you. I see YOU, just as you are. I see the perfected you, the present, past and future you. I SEE YOU. I think of you. I desire time with You. I want a relationship with you. You are precious to me- more than gold or silver. You are my favorite. I love your presence. I look for you. I wait for you. I watch for you. I remember you. I LOVE you. I love you the way you desire to be loved. I love your attention and your presence. Would I create you and leave you to fend for yourself, alone? You are NOT ALONE. Would I create you and then reject you and refuse to love you? You are accepted and loved by Me. You are worth it because I say you are. Refusal to believe Me is disobedience to me. I love you as I made you. Believe, child. You are mine. Be free.”
Romans 8:35 says that nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Psalm 139 tells us that we can never escape God’s Spirit and Hebrews 13: 5-6 says that God will never leave or forsake us. The Lord sees you, He hears you, and He will never leave you, nor will He ever stop loving you.
