Confession: I usually eat a whole can of Pringles on travel days. Sometimes two. But that’s not what this blog is about. It’s a continuation of my blog titled, “Be Bold.”
I had my epiphany. This may be short, but I think it’s good. Ready?
There’s this box. Inside of it are all the words to my gut feelings, reactions, and instincts. The words never connect to my gut because they’re locked in this box. Sometimes the lid to this box starts to open. Maybe the contents are getting so big they can’t stay inside anymore- like homemade popcorn coming out a pot that’s too small- or maybe boldness starts to pry open the lid.
Then something happens. Someone shoots the idea down. Someone doesn’t listen. Nobody hears. So the lies about the worth, validity, power, and significance of my words start to creep up again. They peek over the top of the box and shut the lid, stuffing everything down inside like a trash compactor.
So how do I open this stupid box? Why is there even a lid? Why haven’t I ripped it off a long time ago? Why is there even a box?
The thing is, we’ve all believed lies about ourselves. While they might be partly a result of our past, our past does not define who we are. It is God Most High, the Creator of the universe, our Lord Jesus Christ who died on the cross that defines who we are.
Maybe you’ve struggled with knowing how to be bold. Maybe you’re prone to nervousness, anxiety, and doubts of the worth of your voice. Maybe you have a totally different “box” of insecurities and wounds. Let me just tell you (and Lord knows I’m preachin’ to the choir) that no matter what happened to you, no matter what you did, the Lord was there. He knows exactly what lies were told to you. He sees our insecurities and our fears, but He does not forget about us. He hears us. He cares.
“Can a woman forget her nursing child that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you.“
That is profound. If you think about a woman and her nursing child, her newborn baby, it’d be pretty darn hard to forget about. When you have a baby, every thought is for your child. They don’t exactly let you forget, either. They’re hungry- they cry. They poop- they cry. They get too hot or too cold- they cry. Is God making a metaphor here or what? We’re like babies. But more than that, His every though is about us. He cannot forget about us. And not just because we’re whiny like babies, but because He truly loves us.
This is only one facet of His love. We could talk for the rest of eternity about God’s love. It is so vast. It is so deep. And when you allow that love to sink deep into your heart (or that “box”) and allow it to heal those wounds- even the small, seemingly insignificant hurts- you will come out a new person. The old is gone and the new has come.
I think I’m realizing more and more that this soaking in the Father’s love is a long process. I thought I’d go on the World Race, cry some at training camp and during the first month, and then I’d be Superwoman. I’m a different person, but I’m not Superwoman yet. He’s not finished with me, and He won’t be for a long time. Duh, Carrie.
But once you pop you can’t stop. Once you let that love in your “box,” whatever it is, it will radically change your life and you won’t want to stop changing, you won’t want to stop healing, and you definitely won’t want to stop becoming more like Jesus and growing in intimacy with Him.
“But now, O Lord, you are our Father, we are the clay, and you are our Potter; we are all the work of Your hand.” Psalm 64:8
