Mornings are beautiful here. No matter how cold and rainy it is during the night, there is always a bright sun and gentle breeze waiting for you when you step out of your boiling tent at 7:00.
By 9:00 it's warm, but the breeze that brings in the afternoon clouds and rain keeps things pretty cool- combine this weather with all the colorful vegetation and you have the ideal place to have a very peaceful, productive time in the Word and with God.
In the beginning of this month, I felt like I was living a dream- in a different country for the first time, finally on the World Race, beautiful mornings with the Lord, sweet worship sessions with our squad, etc. Right now, at the end of month 1, I feel a little different. It's become a little bit more normal to be here. Well, not normal, but a little less surreal. Things have started to slow down.
A huge piece of why I came on this trip was to change. I knew God had more for me and had so many things to teach me, and He wanted to use this trip to jumpstart that change. I got a picture of that at training camp and the during the first few weeks of this month, but now things are starting to slow down and it's not quite what I expected. I'm asking for change and growth from God and praying about things I know are broken and incomplete in me, but I'm not seeming to go anywhere.
Earlier this week, I was praying about all this after one of our squad leaders taught on Spiritual Gifts, and as I was sitting in the breeze with my journal, this is what the Lord told me:
I told you I wanted you to be uncomfortable. I meant it. In the past you've asked me for things but given up when it seemed like I was silent. Keep asking. Keep seeking me. Wait for me to show up. Expect me to show up- I always do. It might not be when it's the most convenient for you, but I keep my promises, and I give good gifts Keep seeking me. Keep praising me, Keep trusting me. I love you. I love who I created you to be. I know you, and I will never forget you. You are mine.
This is pretty self explanatory. I realized after this that I had started to seek things from God more than God Himself. At the beginning of this month, He told me to come away with Him and praise Him. I've been so focused on getting out of my own junk (i.e.: pride, comparison, punching through plastic) and my own problems that I forgot to praise Him through it. It's fairly simple, but it's much harder to do when you're in the midst of it. He knows what's going on. He who started a good work in me will complete it.
