So… launch. (For everyone I talked to that gets "launch" and "lunch" confused, everyone "launching" out on the World Race in July met together in Atlanta for 4 days before actually leaving the U.S. for some more training and preparation.) It consisted of lots of training sessions about policies, travel safety, gossip, responsibility, what ministry on the Race will look like… basically a continuation of training camp.
My biggest takeaway from launch: The Race is NOT about me. It's not about my comfort, my growth, my feelings, my desires, my preferences- my will- it's about God's will. HIS Kingdom come. HIS Will be done.
Don't get me wrong. Yes, God is going to use this journey in incredible ways to radically change my life, and that is awesome and I'm SO EXCITED to experience, step into, and walk in the freedom and fullness of life He has for us.
But there's a bigger story happening here that I don't always acknowledge. He cares SO deeply for mankind and loves us with a deep, indescribable, sacrificial love. And he doesn't just love humanity collectively, but individually for each unique soul that lives on the planet. He cares about each of our stories. He is in all of them, no matter how insignificant we think our personal story is.
Every story whispers His Name. Even yours. Even Mine. Telling the story of how He's worked in our lives (His story) is really all that evangelism is and it's what we're called to do. He is glorified when we tell our stories and how He has shown us His love.
My story is His story. My story is part of the larger story of His redemption of mankind and shows just how much He loves us.
Speaking of stories.…Here's one that God reminded me of and helped me articulate during launch.
Theme: Busybody/independent/intellectual Carrie.
I've always been pretty good at school. I'm good at the academic life, at lists, getting things done, and looking like I have it all together. I could play the game and look pretty good doing it.
But. There's always a "but." Even if I knew the "right answer" I'd be silent. I wouldn't even guess. I was crippled by a fear of being wrong.
The bottom line: My identity was in my intellect. (This actually stems out of the deeper and longer problem of pride.)
I think part of this is from the common American/ Western belief that what you "feel" and your emotions aren't important because we live in a world of science, reason, and hard evidence. People need to see it/touch it/understand it to believe it. And emotions are hard to understand. Even when they're your own. Especially if you're female (…or maybe that's just me?). In this system, you need evidence for what you believe.
But at training camp (and ever since), God has been showing me that I don't have to shove my feelings in a box. God cares about my feelings. He cares about my emotions. I can have a real, emotion, unexplainable (by our intellect) relationship with the Living Creator of the Universe. He is a God of reason, science, intellect, and hard evidence. But He is also a mysterious God. His ways are not our ways. He is also a passionate God. He Loves His children FIERCELY. He is a God who works through visions, does miracles, speaks through prophecy and words of knowledge, and is bigger than our wildest imaginations. The Lord can fill us with wild, crazy, unexplainable joy and deep, aching sorrowful pain for the world. We are intelligent beings but also emotional beings.
The bottom line is that I, along with a lot of people, tend to downplay our own stories. We think "Oh, God can't use that… I'm too messed up/ I’m not that messed up." Lies. He can use anything for good. He can redeem anything and anyone, and every story whispers His Name. Trust that. Trust Him.
