Timing.
I find it slightly comical that God has been continually has been teaching me that our schedules mean nothing over the past two months. He has a perfect calendar already worked out no matter how much we plan. You might be asking why I find it comical. This is because God is really testing me this coming month with my trust in His schedule.
Over the past two and a half weeks I have been struggling with mysterious high fevers, headaches and abdominal pain. Thinking I had a kidney/UTI infection I was put on antibiotics. After a week of not getting any better, a new doctor was contacted and tests were run. Puzzled by the results and not fully satisfied the doctor sent me for an ultrasound. I braced my extremely ticklish self for an even more extremely awkward time with the ultrasound technician. As he started checking me over I could hear my contact Jenny say 'seriously?'
Ugh.
Turns out that the technician stumbled upon some tenants called gullstones and they needed to be evicted ASAP. But then what was going on with my abdominal discomfort? Inconclusive. I need to have a scope done to determine if a 'mass' on my bladder lining was inflammation or not. Given my health past I wasn't sure what to think but I knew I felt a sense of peace. That was until the doctor said I needed to have surgery right away and have these further tests done at home. 'Excuse me?' I said, 'I am on the world race. Can't this wait till December?' Heartbreakingly, he said no, it's a time bomb.
Seriously? Jenny's choice of words were correct.
After much conversation with the ever faithful leadership team above me on the field and back in the United States, a pros and cons list, as well as a difficult phone call to my travel insurance company, God was giving me the wisdom to know that going home to deal with this was the best choice. As hard of a decision it is, I truly do have a sense of peace and a faithful trust over the entire situation. God has big things planned that will bring him great glory in this. And isn't that what the point? He knows the desires of my heart and that I want to serve Him and live a life of love to all His children. Show the world that God is bigger, greater and the answer to a life worth living. And that my friends is written all over His schedule.
Now to trust His schedule at home. You see I have one month to return to the field or I will be deferred to a new squad. I believe in healing and divine appointments and am trusting in God to know the desire of my heart is to return to O-Squad and to my team, team ZEROH. But regardless to know that my greatest desire is to know that I am living in His will for my life. Your support in prayer I cannot stress how important it is and much appreciated. Prayer for healing, speeding wait times and regardless of my schedule, find peace in His.
As confident as I am in God's hand in this, it breaks my heart to leave. Leaving a team that I have dubbed as my second family. Leaving parts of the world that God seems so much clearer in. Leaving a powerful month of ministry. But as my mom always said hindsight is 20/20.
Everything happens for a reason. God is faithful.
More updates to come as I have a doctors appointment on Wednesday 🙂
