Don’t misunderstand the following story i’m about to share.
Don’t misunderstand, because honestly, there’s so much i’m struggling with – and what i’m struggling mostly with is me. And choosing to do the right thing over what i feel like doing. Choosing my teammates – to keep on trying and to keep on caring when honestly, most of me is over hanging out, smiling, forgiving, and pouring into them.
I know that its impossible for me to honestly pour into other people i dont know with any real care, if i cant even pour into my squad/teammates with real love. So…i can’t even get myself to fake it.
Part of the reason its becoming harder and harder is all my selfishness coming to the surface. And i’m tired.
I’m not necessarily tired of what i’m doing, i’m just tired in general. When i’m not cleaning something, or playing with someone, or writing something, or praying about something, or listening to someone, or preparing something, or walking somewhere or so many things… – then im processing something or trying to rest to get energy to do all that all over again….
i know it sounds like im complaining. I probably am a little bit. And im sorry because honestly i came on this volunteer thing to do just this: get exhausted beyond reason and serve my guts out to see what God would show me, and to become a better, more understanding person.
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Anyway. Somehow, God is still doing crazy things that i could not have planned even if i tried.
Here is a story of something kewl that happened this month:
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She was holding her arm, her dark hair flowing over her shoulders, and i could see her mentally biting her lip.
We had just finished a long week and wrapped up an international event called PVT – Parents Vision Trip, where parents from all over the USA flew into the foreign country their World Race child is doing ministry in to join them for one week. We sat outside in the dark waiting with some of the church people for the pastor to come. It was late and pleasantly cool.
“She just got out of prison, and needs a place to stay for the night.”
She walked through Hope Church Romania’s front gates into the church courtyard, and she walked without hessitating, but her eyes betrayed her: she was afraid.
Instantly i felt the Lords deep love for her. I could not keep my eyes off of her, nor forget what i’d been told earlier by a PVTer, “You have a special gift for connecting with people”. I decided i would try and see if i did have this gift, so i greated her and got a smile. Then i felt a nudge to bring her water. So I did.
Then after some time passed in conversation between the people around me and the man who’d brought her, i reached for her, and she allowed me to pull her into a hug. “Dont worry about anything,” i told her and my Romanian friend translated. “You’re going to be fine!”. She hessitatingly hugged me back and then – suddenly, gripped me tightly.
Then she was invited into the church to eat. “Up until yesterday she prayed only to Allah, she prayed for him to get her out of jail. Yesterday she decided, Allah wasn’t answering, so she decided to ask Jesus.”
With 8 months still on her sentence, this young muslim girl prayed, “Jesus – if you’re really God, then you have to get me out of prison tomorrow. Not another day, it has to be tomorrow, if you’re really God.”
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The next day she was released.
Needing a place to sleep before being reunited with her parents in another city since it was late, she was brought by a prison ministry partner of Hope Church Romania to Draganesti-Olt, on the way to her family – to sleep at the pastors house.
Sitting in front of her hessitatingly nibbling at the food she was offered, tears trembling in the edges of her eyes, i heard the Lord say, “Give her something.”
“What should i give her?” i asked.
“Give her your key,” He answered.
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My key had been with me for the last 7 months. I had just literally finished the 7th month of ministry. And i’d been given this key right before leaving the states. I was given it by a stranger who id never met and who had prayed over the list of World Racer names and asked God to give us a word that He wanted for us this year.
Each of my squad mates had gotten a different word based on his prayer and what he felt God reveal to him for us.
My word was ‘Courage‘.
I reached into my collar and pulled off my necklace holding the key. Then i explained the story of the key to her and added, “Now that Jesus has proven He’s God, you have to decide if you’re going to follow Him or not. That’s going to take a lot of courage – so Jesus wants you to have this. This courage is for you.”
Then i asked if i could pray for her and Jesus told me to pray for her feet.
I felt foolishness crawl towards me and take hold of my ankles, but i knelt anyway. How could i not?
I placed one hand on each of her feet, i told her Jesus said he considerd the feet as the most beautiful, and then i prayed for her life and for protection for her and for her to feel confident that her choices are her own, and that He would woo her as only He knows she needs, and that she’d have courage on the journey He has for her.
And that’s how i met Julij*, just fresh out of jail. A girl who will be forever in my heart.
Please partner with me in praying for this dear girl! – pray that she will meet a woman who is a believer who can mentor her, pray that she can decide to follow Christ, pray that she will be physically protected – but that whatever happens that her faith and peace in Christ would be strong-, pray that she can be a light and witness to her family, pray for her families salvation, pray that she would continue to see and feel Gods love for her, and pray for her to have unexplainable courage.
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Look up into the heavens.
Who created all the stars?
He brings them out like an army, one after another, calling each by its name.
Because of his great power and incomparable strength, not a single one is missing.
O Jacob, how can you say the LORD does not see your troubles? O Israel, how can you say God ignores your rights?
Have you never heard?
Have you never understood?
The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.
Isaiah 40:26-29
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I feel like Gods telling me that i will find strength in obedience if i have more of a thankful heart.
…it’s not easy. At all. Not even a little bit.
And where to even start?
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The bible says that if we do not praise Him, the rocks will cry out.
It also says that the heavens declare the glory of God.
So will you join me in praising God for the things – big or small – that He is doing?
Who will praise Him?
The mud? or the stars?
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(*To protect her identity/safety her name has been changed)
