We arrived in Bulgaria by car… our Romanian host took care of bringing us to Romania and also taking us to our new host!
It was only a few hours drive,… but it ended up being a bit longer since our car broke down twice….meaning half way through our drive we switched cars.
Thankfully, a ministry partner lived in a city on the way and he generously took us (the second car full)-(shout out to Lucian!!)
the rest of the way in his car…which was dying everytime we stopped for gas, and had to be jumped….
As you can see from the following picture, it was fun…
At one point, having passed the border and entered our town for the month – Vidin – we pulled over to the side of the road and a man (who i thought was asking for change) spoke with our lead car.
Ends up he was our host waiting to take us to our new home for the month!
.
We are staying in a poorer (but actually really nice looking) part of town, in a little complex built by the government where poor people can get housing. One of our hosts church members vacated their house for us for this month!
Our host is a funny down to earth guy -…who we were pretty excited to work with after we met him the first day.
We had some orientation and a brief tour of the main part of the city, (so green and beautiful!!!!)
and then some of the church members had a party for us by cooking traditional/normal Bulgarian food for us!
It was really nice to meet some of the people there – and a delicious dinner that spoke of a generosity & kindness we didnt exppect!
– although our host had to do a lot of translating for us since he is the only one that really knows any english. We were grateful to have him and sorry we couldnt communicate otherwise.
…
Sometime during that first day (while being shown around the beautiful little town), we realized due to some out of the blue comments by our host that he might be on a slightly different theological page than us…but we decided it might be a language barrier thing…
Day 1 of ministry we spent the morning weeded the compound we are living in for the month. We hung a speaker on the fence and enjoyed some good music while we weeded into the afternoons hot sun. It was a good morning!
Later that afternoon we went to the church to participate in a bible study/go to participate and encourage the bible study members.
…
It ended up being rather interesting, and clarified our earlier curiosity about where our host was theologically.
…
Prayer Request #1 for our time in Bulgaria:
pray that we would love well, serve well, and that when we leave our host would have a better understanding of Gods love.
…
Unfortunately, our host has strong ideas which were shared in a way that was honestly incredibly hurtful.
Not expecting this put a temporary damper on our eagerness to form a deeper relationship with our host and caused a lot of good conversations within our team.
It helped us to realize again how everyones on their own journey with the Lord – not everyones in the same place – and that grace and patience and service are really why we are here.
We are here learning how to work together and still be who we claim to be.
I also personally realized that this culture we are coming into has also lived through a hard history – both physically and spiritually – and they are fresh out of communism, now thrust into a progressive and feelings first social world with little room for God and the way He’s created the world to be.
Somewhere in this jumble of pleasure and pain chaos – that can confuse peoples ideas – the gospel is flashing out hope…and taking tentative root.
A gospel of freedom in Christ can be fearful in a world where so many restrictions has become security.
Continuing some sort of walls can feel safe – and right.
That doesnt make it right – but it also doesnt mean that their need for security is wrong. Not now. Not till God himself tears down those walls.
.
I am reminded of one of the main reasons i wanted to come on Adventure’s World Race program: We dont come to bring a ministry program. We come to serve existing, national (born in country by natives) ministries. We come to serve in their programs in order that we can learn, encourage, and really be effective in a way that will truly bless and help the people in the country we are in!
.
Our host from last month was contacted by one of our team for wisdom on our situation and he really encouraged us; God bless him.
We spent time praying as a team, and out of all that i’ve come to these few thoughts (a few shared above):
Perhaps, what Vidin Bulgaria needs right now, is this guys theology. Perhaps as he grows in his faith, so will they. After all, we all grow in stages and those stages must be directed by the Lord. Even my own. And i still have a lot of stages to grow out of, and into!
And all we can do is love as Christ did.
Which honestly, i am not the best at…
.
The next day we cleaned the church with the same energy and joy as we’d weeded the day before. I plugged my earphones in and hit my spotify list (created by my sister)-(shout out: Thanks Jay!)
Then later that evening we went to a retirement home…just to talk with and encourage the old people there.
They were so sweet…and it was also sad.
One dear lady told us her family was all in America and had left her behind.
She was 94.
When we left she clutched my arms weeping, and looking up into my eyes (as her child) asked me pitifully, “Why? Why aren’t you taking me with you to america?!” And the tears streamed down her face breaking my heart.
.
All of their families were elsewhere. Mostly other European countries.
There was a train opperator, chauffeur, cow maids, factory workers,…lives now almost gone.
“Some of these here we will not see next time we visit,” our host said.
.
How am i doing?
God is so faithful.
God is faithful.
He keeps working, although somedays i wonder what the h*** i am doing, He continues to surprise me with unexpected little things…
Like a simple look from a teammate that disolves into moments of laughter in a normal feeling day that follows one after another … a small red poppy, so perfect and delicate letting its pedals loose in the breeze… an unasked for cup of tea from a teammate … satisfaction of a job well done – dirt beneath my nails and goodness in my heart, a feeling inside of being alive – a feeling of being deeply known…words entering my mind from nowhere… hope. Unexpected and unbidden hope or joy. Suddenly. Unexplainably.
Wind.
The snap of wind that gusts across the ground, through the trees, the air filling with seeds, the sky going grey as clouds scuttle across the sun.
Icecream in hand, i walk across the streets of Bulgaria.
Never in my wildest dreams did i think that id be here.
Grasping to understand what God’s doing, and where my place is in all of His plans.
Desiring to find healing and hope – and give healing and give hope…
.
And how does this – all this fit in?
This second by second assualt on my soul?
.
Serbia was overshadowed by a spirit of disunity, and our team shared that – it tore us apart in the rudest way…and we faught to come back to a place of laughter.
Romania was overshadowed by an orphan spirit and we left Romania each with our own stories of lonliness that we fight to undo with attempting to remain honest with eachother about where we are.
So now, here we are in Bulgaria. And what is it? This overshadowing spirit? Despair? Insecurity? The need for power?
Prayer request #2:
Please pray that whatever it is we would be more united than ever as a team.
We are finishing our fourth month with this team, and as always, we never know if another team change is on the horizon.
.
Thinking that the world race would be something other than “real life” has consumed me in a way I hadn’t even recognized. I know its ignorant to think that “you can have it all!” if you just…whatever. We’re not often allowed to stop life to follow our dreams, so normally we put our dreams seven layers deep while we slave at our responsibilities and duties….
Life, time, is ravenous…and it’s the path of least resistance to let all my have-tos swallow me whole, simply because “I’m an adult” and that’s what i have to do..
Ive always known I couldn’t say yes to everything; I would have to choose: Gods way or my way. And in general i feel like ive spent my life choosing God over whatever else i might have wanted to do with my life. What’s funny is Ive never struggled to choose Him in the big things. Saying no to schools or jobs or whatevers in order to obey what i felt God was saying to me always seemed a no brainer.
Coming on the race was a struggle for reasons other than obedience to go. Going was a dream come true for me…it was how i came: Surrendering to God providing for me.
…its been the little daily yeses when i just want to say no…. It’s always been the little things that have been my undoing.
I’ve said yes to myself/my own way a thousand different ways, all insignificant on their own—but when stacked up and added together, it’s enough to bury the me He made me to be for the me i think i should be.
The list of things I could be doing better is neverending. There’s always more to do/be/become; someone else always seems “more than,” and I always resolve to be better, try harder, never give up – never surrender! But im not as strong as i like to think i am. Im just not. Im more lethargic and unwilling and tired than even i want to admit…
It’s a humbling thing to admit: I thought I went into the race with fairly open eyes and i was prepared to make changes in my life (some that i knew i was unaware of and others that i only had inklings of) – and say yes to God and no to myself – …Still somehow I underestimated the number of times I would choose myself over Him….
How my feelings would cripple my attempts…
I came on the race feeling more whole and healed than ive ever felt in my life …yet now, im not sure how i feel. In guess Ive allowed myself to become somewhat lost on the race…
Prayer request #3:
As always God has growth and revelation for me in everything: to help me know more of who He is and who i am. I want to gain the growth and revelation. I want to be aware and willing to accept and move into it. I want there to be fruit.
The race is going quickly, and almost over.
I am not always the most receptive to change or desire. I dont always know what i really feel or have the humbleness to acknowledge it if i do.
I am assaulted by my own weaknesses constantly. I want to come out of the race more confident and kind.
Please pray for this for me.
Thanks :’)
