When i look in the mirror
what do i see?
When i look in the mirror
do i see satisfaction?
When i look in the mirror
i stand here
– for you are able to make me stand –
in your image.
.
Naked
.
Before you i am totally unjustifiable without excuse
…
lies have filled my mouth i cannot escape who i am
…
I am not who i want to be
– And sometimes i doubt your ability .
Can you actually finish what you’ve started? Lies or no lies – will you listen to me?
.
I am put on the stand
but before you
rise or fall
i am unable to say a word.
.
You know it all
every fault,
every innocence
.
laid bare
.
helpless.
Vindicate me or meet your violence upon me. you alone can justify me.
You alone can forgive me.
Because you alone know.
.
nothing is hidden from you
You created every place where i could hide. You know my nooks and crannies
You fill up the emptiness with your all knowing.
.
i cry but it is not to you
i am wrapped up in my own ball of grief…still a bulb in your hand, gently placed into the soil and kindly covered.
.
i hide even from you
but yet, unhidden.
fruitless
useless
action.
if only i followed you whole heartedly my foot would not slip
.
your loving kindness
it made me restless
it made me to toss my head
in stubbornness
…relent oh my soul.
all my inmost being –
Hear me anyway.
show me.
keep me.
teach me.
i dont want to be calloused
i dont want my heart to be closed
.
i have been tracked down in free land.
Darkness covers the land like a hand passing a shadow beneath it
i know i spoke arrogantly
but now i am surrounded
.
they wait for me to fall
.
and if i dont fall they are determined to throw me down
.
lions.
hungry lions.
no one wants to be the prey,
so they have all become hunters.
.
they lie in wait for my blood.
You alone hold the power to confront them.
Already, i lie slain.
My hunger to devour stilled by your abiding love.
i lie slain.
And when i wake, you promise me,
i will be satisfied with seeing
your likeness.
