Sometimes its hard to think of something to write, not for lack of inspiration, but rather from overload of it.
This blog is an effort to share something ive been thinking about lately.
I know that this blog will be read for one of two reasons:
1. Curiosity
2. Offense
Curious to see what this blog is going to reveal. Offended to see this word on blog and wishing for a reason to argue and be right about something in life.
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I looked up the etomology of the word and it said it is two latin words meaning to “disturb, throw into confusion” with “ones hand”.
It also has the connotation of defiling or a vain activity. “Vain” which can both mean “producing no result; useless” or doing something with a “high opinion of oneself and ones abilities”…
I write about masturbating on the race because in some ways i feel that we as believers try very hard to jerk tangible self-satisfaction out of our service to God.
We are rarely satisfied with sitting back, doing the good we know we ought to do, and allowing all the credit or results to go to God…especially in His timing and in His way. If we lack the results we desire, we often give up and pursue the things that give us some feeling of worth or value in life…and then often label them with a christian sticker to make it all “godly” and noble/right/brave/a sacrifice of ourself.
This masturbation mindset even flows over into our daily prayer or our devotion to knowing the scriptures… If for example, we spend time in Gods word and come away unsatisfied consistently enough, we resort to reading books about God written to help us pacify our feelings into still feeling enough love for God that we continue to “follow” him; even if but just passively.
Or if our prayers go unanswered we resort to our own way of dealing with or fixing the problem.
What do you think?
Am i right?
I know for myself i am.
I have tried many things, but nothing can compare to the times that God himself met me where i was and gave me a taste of how good He truly is: none of my own effort, no religious gimics, just the bald and startling encounter of God in ways that i would not have conjured had i the choice. As C.S.Lewis states in his narnia series, God is not tame or safe, but He is good.
So, how do we get out of this christian masturbation mindset and live without trying to get our hands on the plans of God and confusing ourselves as we try to make it happen how we think it should?
I am not 100% sure. But i know acknowleging and being aware of my own patterns, desires, and mindsets helps me to stop, let go, and ask myself the right questions to focus my mind and heart on Christ in order to find the rhythm He has planned for me that will allow me to taste and see that He is good.
I also know that whenever i try and figure it out, and take control, i often end up dissapointed, dissatisfied, and longing once more – for more than i am able.
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I read the other day while flipping through my bible the parable of the sower of seeds. Jesus talks about what happens when seed falls on thorny/weedy soil. He said that the worries of this life, the decietfulness of weath/riches, and the desire for other things/pleasures choke out the life of the Word of God…and therefore that the Word of God bears no fruit….
I realize that all the different worries or anxieties i have, no matter how small they are, show that there are places of weedy soil in my life still. Places where faith has not rooted itself in the promises of God…and that i need to start checking my mind and thoughts when i start experiencing doubt, pulling out, putting asside negative and discouraging thoughts, and turning over the soil with the promises and [remembered] faithfulness of God. And from that place allow Gods Word to grow in my life and bear fruit.
I am fooling myself if i think that a few masturbating ministry efforts and clinging to “little” normal doubts in my mind are harmless. Jesus claimed they would totally disallow the effectiveness of His word in my (/peoples) lives. And i realized i must see things for what they are, and stop decieving myself that this kind of mental struggle and “christian” effort in life is normal and ok.
What do you think?
See any weedy patches you thought until now were harmless?
I urge you, – in the words of paul, – to throw off everything that hinders, so that you can run the race with perseverance.
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***disclaimer: i believe the actual topic of masturbation is a very controversial subject, and [can be arguably] a grey area in the scriptures, and i do not mean for this blog to carry any other meaning than the metaphorical one i have assigned it. I believe fully in the conviction of the HolySpirit in Gods timing and Gods way on individuals as He deems. james4:17 “If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.”, 2corinthians9:7 “Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”, philippians3:15 “And if you think differently about some issue, God will reveal this to you as well.” – i am happy to recieve any comments or thoughts, but it is not my aim to write in order to be devisive or have an argument with anyone.***
