The World Race wasn’t totally easy, but i will tell you:
World Race America is so much harder.
There’s a “million” little factors – but it kind of boils down to a few things like:
- “Im with people who should know better. They did the race. Why are they being this way?” aka my lack of grace for other people.
– When we went on the race we knew people had stuff to work on – WE had stuff to work through. We were all trying to figure it out.
It’s like coming back to America I have less grace for people needing to still figure things out or something…
- “O my gosh I gotta get out of here I can’t take this anymore.” aka cheap greyhound busses “out-of-here”.
– When we were abroad on the race, a “I need to get out of her attitude” was changed to a “I’ve got to figure this out” because “getting out” came with something like a $3600 plane price tag….
- “Oh…everyone can understand me. Dang! I don’t even know how to talk to this stranger!…never mind…” aka the lack of language barrier cuts boldness and effort into a minimal.
– When we were in other countries it was so much easier to approach people because most of the time both sides were equally struggling to communicate and it was kind of funny and made an instant bond between you and the other people you were trying to talk with.
You were in a foreign country and had to make an effort and be so intentional to create relationships.
Here in the states its so much easier for people to dismiss me and my team.
Who wants a relationship in the middle of busy life with some transient strangers?
It’s so much easier for them to immediately disregard whatever we are attempting.
“What? – uh… No thanks.” the body language – the quick stride – the facial expressions….
– the “No thanks” really means “No way!”.
So yea.
- And there’s the $4 daily budget for food and housing.
It’s hard and unpleasant – and makes you feel tired of trying sometimes.
There’s the Matthew 10 kind of lifestyle -> “Lord! Please provide for us!”
How many times does God have to come through in big ways and you still get tired of praying that prayer?
And when it is happening so much or so randomly in the middle of things – that you can’t even keep track of it – and it becomes a norm that then it’s frustrating when it’s NOT happening….you find out just how selfish and self centered you are….
- And in the states people shake their head at you when you’re 36 and living on a fundraised budget. “What are you planning on doing next?” “How do you make money/get your money from?”
Sometimes you just get tired of it.
Because you feel just as stupid as they feel you are.
Because you have no idea.
Because youre trying to live obedient to what you feel God’s asked you to do – And sometimes that obedience feels like a total trap.
Your freedom is actually pretty nil when you have to make all your decisions with 12 other people…and you have no income. When you all share one vehicle.
Hedged in on every side, they ask “how is that possible?” and you grin and you say “God totally made it happen.” And you are so stinken grateful He has. Its a privilege and a miracle you get to do what you’re doing. But that doesn’t always make it easy.
It doesn’t make it easy to keep on choosing the hard things.
– aka. I would LOVE some monthly financial supporters. Just $5 or $10 from someone every month would mean a lot to me during the rest of the 6 months here in the states!*
…
There’s a lot you don’t and can’t see – that makes up this year.
You go to bed – sometimes wondering if you have done enough to satisfy the people who have partnered with you financially to make your year work…
You get up and you don’t have the $2 personal money to shower – or wash your laundry. You don’t even have enough to make a choice between the two! Because those things are personal and not covered by the fundraised budget.
You get annoyed about a teammate and decide you just can’t anymore. You can’t even cry even though you’re sad because your pride is white hot.
You try to walk it off but you still can’t forget the conversation.
You sleep in the car rather than the tent – but that doesn’t ease the tension.
You hold back but the words are sliding angrily through your every waking moment…the memories gyroscope around and around creating worse and worse meanings and future scenarios….
You finally have to pray in desperation and weakly confront the person.
“Oh God please save me!” aka “don’t let my pride suffer too much!”
– There’s a lot of normal junk that goes down, even when you’re trying to totally surrender your entire everything, living out of a bag for the second year in a row, waiting in the car again because you can’t afford ice-cream with everyone else…**
So yea.
I promise you.
I am not on “another vacation”.
It’s as far from a vacation as I can imagine. 
Here is an update I wrote for a church that has partnered in prayer with our team!
Thank you so much to ALL of you that have so generously partnered with me on this journey!
If you haven’t yet partnered with me on this journey, but would like to join me:
1 – Please pray for the different things I bring up in my blog!
You can also read my teammates blogs and they need prayer too and also are not yet fully funded for the ministry we are doing! (Our funding above goes towards gas, car repair needs, lodging, food, and ministry outreach costs. Nothing personal is provided through our pooled ministry funds.)
2 – You can also email me for prayer updates, [email protected] and I would also love your prayer requests too so that I can partner with you this year!
3 – *You can also be a partner financially! You can send money to me on PayPal using my [email protected] email!
**If some of my comments made it seem like I am in a desperate situation I am not! So please don’t misunderstand! I do have some legitimate needs, but some of it is just selfish little me things that I want. I do have a monthly supporter who sends me “chocolate milk” money! —there are just a lot of things like cards I send out regularly, laundry and sometimes shower costs, any snacks or meals outside of our/not covered by our $4 a day ministry budget, money God calls me to give people or people I feel led to bless with a meal etc.
If you would like to be a supporter and would like updates on how that blesses me or others feel free to support me and I will update you!
Any of these 3 ways of partnering with me – and my team – would mean so much to me! 
Thanks for journeying with me through my blogs!!!
PS. I AM PLANNING AN EVENT!
PLEASE COME!
