I started listening to what God wanted for and from me at training camp. I heard Him tell me He loved me no matter what. No mater past, present, or future. See, that’s hard for my brain because I like concrete things. If I am to receive something, I want it to be because I worked for it. I’ve always been weird about receiving things for free. I feel guilty even.
God’s been working on that with me because the hardest thing for my mind and heart to comprehend is being loved just because. I shut down receiving it a long time ago and believed the lie that I was only worthy of love if I earned it. But I could never measure up to God to earn His love, so I even pushed His love away. I refused His free gift of love. I don’t mean salvation. I know He saved my soul. I mean the free day to day minute to minute second to second love He continually gives. Despite me. Despite my heart. Despite my sinful condition.
Recently, His love was manifested in a tangible way for me.
This story may sound simple, but I hope it sheds a little light on how great God’s love for you is, like it did for me.
I have been saying since Nicaragua that I wanted to get new flip flops or sandals. I could feel the tread on mine wearing down and my feet were hurting wearing them. Well, on the way to church last Friday night, they finally bit the dust. Almost literally, seeing as how dusty it can be here. Anyway, the part where your toe sits just completely snapped, rendering the flip flip just a flop.
Not a big deal, I told myself. It’s inconvenient, but not the end of the world. I’ll just have to tread carefully so as not to step in poo or glass…or both.
We arrived at church, and service began. I felt a little awkward with my flop because I didn’t have anywhere to throw it out and I didn’t want to just be in my bare feet. Oh well. One of the ladies we quickly became friends with who happens to share my name (Carolina) sat next to me. Only a few moments into the service did she notice my broken flip flop. What happened next was God’s pure love.
She said something to me I didn’t understand and left. She returned not even 10 minutes later with different shoes on, and handed me the flip flops she had previously been wearing. I tried to refuse them, but she just smiled at me and gave them to me. I had to accept her gift. They fit perfectly.
It was then that what God had been trying to tell me for months that I finally understood. I fought tears as He spoke to my heart and told me again “Carolyn, I love you because I love you. There is nothing you can do to deserve or earn that love- just like Carolina’s gift to you.”
God loves you because He chooses to. Not because we are worthy or deserving. Because He loves us. That’s it. It’s that simple. It’s that complicated.
It’s up to us whether or not we will receive that love daily and walk freely in His gift to us.
