Today I broke down. I was overwhelmed.
I’ve chosen to leave school, both for this semester to work and to fundraise and for 9 months starting in September to serve the Lord in Cambodia, Thailand, Honduras, Guatemala and Ethiopia.
A month ago I drove away from Athens Georgia, with everything I own in my car, to move in with my wonderful grandmother in Brookhaven and to work a couple of jobs in Dunwoody. My heart broke as I got off of Loop 10 and onto Highway 316 towards Atlanta. I knew it wasn’t the last time I would be in Athens, but for some reason or another it hurt as though it was. To my Athens friends, I miss you all more than words can begin to describe. I miss our laughs, our late nights and our beautifully priceless friendships.
Since being back home I have been so blessed to spend time with my wonderful church family at Dunwoody Baptist. I have two part-time nannying jobs with some of the most wonderful children I have ever had the privilege of spending time with. Additionally, I have accepted a job at Chick-Fil-A. Today, despite all of these blessings, I still felt overwhelmed. And I felt guilty for feeling overwhelmed.
I am overwhelmed by my growing to-do list. I am overwhelmed by trying to overcome the flu that I managed to catch while trying to juggle said to-do list. I am overwhelmed by the lack of energy that I seem to have at the end of most days. I am overwhelmed by always wanting to do the right thing and consistently trying to do what is best for everyone. I am overwhelmed by how much I miss my family and so many of my friends. I am overwhelmed by all of the questions I am frequently asked about my life that I genuinely do not yet have answers to. I am overwhelmed by how fast time seems to be passing by.
Today, exhausted and frustrated, I sat down on my bed and started to cry. I asked God, “What do I do? How do I do this? I need strength.”
I Googled “God, I am overwhelmed” in attempt to tell Him that I was overwhelmed by all of the things that I am going through and in hope of maybe finding a sermon fitting for a situation like this. Instead, a song called “Overwhelmed” by Big Daddy Weave came up. Confused and desperate for any sort of healing at this point I clicked on it to listen.
I was IMMEDIATELY humbled. Silenced. Calmed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BiGb14tTaH4
“I delight myself in You
Captivated by Your beauty
I’m overwhelmed, I’m overwhelmed by You”
The only thing I need to be overwhelmed by is the Lord, God Himself.
“God, I run into Your arms
Unashamed because of mercy
I’m overwhelmed, I’m overwhelmed by You”
God knew that I was looking for a solution to my being overwhelmed, but He knew I needed to redirect what it was that was overwhelming me. Oftentimes it is the things that seem so simple that we most often need to be reminded of.
Friends and family I ask that you pray that I not be overwhelmed by all that needs to be done, by my feelings, by fleeting time or by my lack of human strength. God will provide for me all that I need for all of those things (and for all of you that might be struggling with similar things). Please pray that I only be overwhelmed by how good, sovereign and beautiful our God is and that I trust more and more every day that He will take care of all of the rest.
1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Thank you all for taking the time to read this post. I would love to hear from you, so feel free to reach out to me ([email protected]) if you have questions, prayer requests or just need someone to listen to your thoughts. I would love to serve you in any way I can.
Caroline
