This is a letter to all of my loving friends and family who have supported me over the past 20 months. Thank you. A million times thank you.
Thank you for embracing my words as authentic as I struggled through deciding to leave school to serve as a missionary for 9 months. Thank you for not immediately writing me off as crazy or insane. Thank you for helping me raise $15,000 over the course of 6 months before I left. Thank you for faithfully praying for me both before I left and as I’ve been on the field. Thank you for celebrating with me and mourning with me. Thank you for giving me words when I was hurting which, whether or not you knew it, were straight from the mouth of God. Thank you for loving and supporting me in ways I never knew it was possible to be loved and supported.
The past 9 months have been so many things. It was not always wonderful, easy and beautiful. It was hard, but I have come to deeply appreciate the beauty in challenges. I’ve learned to embrace challenge as a means for lasting growth. I’ve learned that sometimes “the goin gets tough,” but my God’s goodness, faithfulness, love, strength, character, wisdom, teaching and beauty far surpasses the pain of any fleeting trial. I wish I could summarize the past 9 months in some way, but I cannot. And that is a beautiful thing. Everything I’ve learned will resonate with me for the rest of my life. Lessons I’ve learned have manifested in the character I now confidently walk in. They will surface anew when I need to be reminded and refreshed. They will surface in God’s timing when they need to be shared with others. I look forward gladly to partnering with God in this way.
Three continents. Four countries. Nine months. Each continent, each country, each month, each DAY carried something completely unique. A different lesson learned. A different challenge faced. A different life changed. Hope and freedom released to those previously in bondage. The poor, the weak and the powerless were served. The voiceless were heard. The unlovable were loved. The broken were healed. The hurting were encouraged. The church was exhorted. The church is burning, growing and unifying. God is as alive, active and powerful as He ever was.
I was baptized four years ago, but in many ways I feel like I didn’t know what it truly meant to be a disciple of Christ until the months leading up to and the duration of the World Race. I was hesitant to embrace refining. I had not fully forgiven myself for my past, nor had I fully forgiven others for the ways they had hurt me. I struggled to be vulnerable and to confess my weaknesses, which I had and have PLENTY of. I thought I could, to some degree, do things on my own. I did not know what it meant to daily surrender, to take up my cross and to follow Jesus. I let both praise and criticism go to my head rather than glorifying or going to the Father who lives in me and made me who I am today. I did not appreciate the beauty in the little things as often as I should have. I did not always treat people as I was called to. I viewed people and circumstances through worldly eyes rather than the eyes of God. My mind had not been renewed.
I can now honestly say that I am completely changed. I am still a human and I still have plenty of things to learn and grow in. I am in no way claiming to be perfect. I am however claiming that God has shown me what it truly means to be His child. What it means to love, to forgive, to live, to perceive, to learn, to be humbled, to lay down what I was never meant to be in the first place and live as a daughter of The Most High.
I want nothing more than to share God and His fullness with those around me for the rest of my life. To live each day as a loved and cherished child of God. To praise and thank Him for all He has done in my life, in the lives of those among the nations and in the world. To partner with Him in all He will continue to do.
I would not be who I am had God not made a way for me to go on the World Race this past year. Thank you for supporting me. For giving me the opportunity to have this life changing experience.
I cannot wait to see you all in just over a week.
Caroline
