Imma be honest. I can’t help how I feel…but it is the way I feel. So if you want to feel good…skip the words in blue. If you want my honesty, read on.
It’s been hard to be on a team. To be honest, it seems like the more I put into it the more discouraged I am. And this is the first time I have ever been told multiple times by multiple people, that I am not the sort of person that they would befriend if they weren’t on this mission with me. Humans are fallible. I am fallible. Things are hard. And though it makes things very lonely knowing that you only have teammates but no friends, I can take solace in Mark 10.
It is shortly after telling the disciples about rich people and heaven (eye of a needle and all that) when Peter says in verse 28, “We have left everything to follow you!” To which Jesus responds, “I tell you the truth, no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age (homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children, and fields—and with them, persecutions) and in the age to come, eternal life.”
This blows me away! We always think that the promises that we will receive for our work in this life is eternal only. But it clearly states that God wants to reward us A HUNDRED-FOLD right here in this life. And I can see it. I can see how He has provided me a sister in Ethel (our contact’s niece) where we play cards, watch Indian Soapies, and take goofy photos on my computer. I can see how he gave me a mother in Miriam (our contact’s wife) who invites me to meals, teaches me to cook Zambian food, lets me entertain the baby during chores or meals, sews with me, and shows me the proper way to clean things by hand. And I got to have tea and homemade snacks at my Roseali’s (a church pillar). She said that she hoped she made us feel at home, and it was truly like visiting a grandmother.
Not to mention in the past months when I had a brother in Hermano Lucho, a whole family in Peru, and more kids than I knew what to do with in Ecuador. I loved some of the Tias (Aunts) at the Latacunga home so much! Not to mention the people that I connected with in so little time during our UH month in Malawi. I remember staying after a meal at Teen Mission to wash dishes with our host’s mother. I was blessed in conversation and got to have a “mom hug” before I left.
I can see God fulfilling His promise, so I just know that I am cared for. And as hard as it is to leave these people each month (especially Miriam and Ethel) I know that this is not the end of that provision. He will continue to provide me with mothers, brothers, sisters, homes, and perhaps even friends. I hold on to that hope in faith because God never breaks His promises.
