I ended my time in Malaysia with a much needed Debrief. It was a time to step back after five months of ongoing ministry (8 months total) to rest and take a introspective moment. And boy did I need both.
I found that there was more spiritual warfare going on than I realized. Not only was our whole squad plagued with lack of sleep for the entire month (I assumed it was just me), but also we were under attack in other ways. Mine specifically was a pack of lies from the evil one. I took so many thoughts that were not my own, and then subsequently the guilt of those thoughts. This caused me to separate myself from my team, and begin to fall into worse attack from the enemy. There was a cycle of loathing that I couldn’t break free of until now.
I am an external processor, so I needed to talk with many squad members, mentors, coaches, and leaders. But I think that I am starting down a healthier road mentally and will be able to better love myself and my team in these coming months.
On the fun/rest side of debrief, I was able to walk Little India with a friend, get Henna, eat DimSum, do laundry, and shop. My favorite though, was probably the time I went to the beach with my friend Kaiulani. We started off on a bus to the beach, but unfortunately I got us off far too early with my impatience. At the first sign of water, I leaped off the bus. After walking around for 45 minutes we found that we needed to be on the bus for another 20. By the time we got to the beach, it was down-pouring. Every shop owner was telling us to take cover as the thunder rumbled, but we pressed on. The beach is what we came to see. And nothing would stop us. After sticking our toes in, we decided that we were already wet so we might as well dive in.
There was something freeing about just letting go. About not having the perfect beach day. Something amazing about running in the downpour while people looked on in shock, and throwing yourself into the Indian Ocean in a Thunderstorm. I think the world can keep it’s sunny beach days, because at this point in my life, I am finding that I have so little control over my circumstances…that I might as well just hop in and enjoy. I am already wet anyway.
After a Ferry, Walking, Train, Taxi, Bus, and SongTaow (big tuk tuk/taptap), we arrived in Chiang Mai to meet our new ministry. To see more about what I learned in my first day of orientation, see my personal blog.
