Man
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Oh
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.Man…
WHAT A CONFUSING GIRL I CAN BE
Ok, let’s be serious
WHAT A CONFUSING GIRL I CAN BE
WHAT A CONFUSING GIRL I AM
There are people in my life that would declare that I am a decisive person who knows what she wants and goes for it
There are other people
Who would call those people NUTS!
They would tell you that I couldn’t decide on a major, where/who I wanted to live with, what I want to eat, what I want to do in my free time…….
I can’t even decide if I am decisive or not
Perhaps, that in itself is a clue
Side Story:
When I was really little
I would toddle into the living room eyes filled with tears because I was so afraid of an eternity in heaven
Kinda strange, I know
It was too much for my brain to comprehend
Usually by the time I made it to dad I was pretty overwhelmed from compiling lists of all the things I want to do
Playing in the clouds with puppies = several million years
Playing in the clouds with kittens = several million years
Meeting my dead relatives = no idea how much time I reserved for this
Watching TV and eating junk food = 20-30 Million years hopefully heaven has a good gym
When I would realize the infinite time left
I would lose it
I would cry-out/pray that when i died i just wanted to stop being
The thought of filling eternity with things to do was too much
Here is where i try to pull it all together
So…
HERE I AM with discernment that I have a servants heart and have been called to experience this World Race with a heart that is open to be raw and venerable
A heart that is ready to hear not my desires
but
the desires my heart was made for
I AM Completely clueless as to where my heart will be called to serve after my race is over
however
I AM sure that God’s plan for my life is wayyyyy cooler than anything I could try and plan
I wish I had a few million more years to serve all the different ministries that my heart yearns for
Kinda funny how my desire for eternity changes as i long to spend time with and for God
Does This Have Anything To Do With My Time In Romania?
sure does
I have been so blessed by the opportunity to hear the amazing ministry journey of our contact.
She is an AMAZING woman
She is fired up for the Lord and it shows
She has so many passions for ministry
Her heart is filled with so many ideas and desires for ministry
For over thirty years Papa has lead her to for different seasons of ministry
Her ministries have been and ARE so fruitful and dynamic
My heart YEARNS to have such a testimony
so …..of course her stories make me cry….typical
Hearing of her life fills me with so much joy to know I could be called like this
Relieving to know, I don’t have to decide on just ONE ministry for life
Exciting to think of the many seasons awaiting my life
who knows…
Certainly not me
While I wait to discover what His desires are for me
I will continue to enjoy a good cry as I hear testimonies
They sing to my heart of Papa's faithfulness in honoring the desires of our hearts to serve Him
