I want more. I need it, I thirst for it, I long for more. I am no longer satisfied in my predictable, pleasant place of faith. At training camp, the Lord brought me to a place of new fullness in Him that makes me discontent in where I’m at…. And yet, at the same time, I have never been more satisfied. I guess that’s what happens when we tap into more of His fullness. On one end, we find deep satisfaction. On the other, we become filled with this burning passion for more.
I have three and a half months to go until the World Race begins. I can so easily look at that time as a waiting period for what God has in store for me once on the race. And yet, I am convicted tonight by the falsehood in that. Sometimes I can catch myself thinking the World Race is going to change me. But I know the truth – it’s the Lord who will transform me more into the likeness of Christ, and who will bring greater freedom in my life. I know He is going to grow and refine me in unique ways on the trip as my eyes are opened to more of His fullness and His power in this world. But I thirst for more now. And not only that, but Lord, I believe it’s possible to be wrecked for the ordinary right here in my quaint town in Connecticut.
I realize it’s all a matter of perspective and a choice I must make. I can choose to look at my coming three months as mundane and boring. I can choose to spend my time simply being around loved ones and making some money. I can choose to count down the days and wish the time away until the race starts. And yet I can’t get out of my head the thought, the TRUTH that there is more. I know what my other option is: to see it as a time of delving into scripture, a time of resting at His feet, a time of ministering to those around me, a time of the Holy Spirit teaching me to speak boldly and tenderly to the lost and broken, a time of caring for the unloved and the untouched.
At training camp we were challenged with the words from Joshua where he said, “Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve.” Today I must choose: who will I serve? what perspective will I hold? I say I want more, but how willing am I to enter the place of discomfort, sacrifice, and stillness? I feel the battle within me wage between my flesh and Spirit. I can’t promise a perfect record for the next three months, but I can say sincerely that in
this moment,
this day, I choose to live for Jesus – which means I also choose to die for Him. Today I choose to love the unknown and the untouched. Today I choose to follow my Savior.
