On January 4th, 2008 I wrote this blog, knowing that the minute I stepped onto that plane bound for Fort Lauderdale to meet up with the rest of my squad, life would change. I knew there was an unspoken holiness to the moment, that in the unseen realm of life things were drastically changing. And as terrifying as it was to me, knowing I would come back totally different, it was just as irresistible. It was something I couldn’t pass up. And so I embarked on the pilgrimage which nothing less than changed my life completely.
It’s now August 8th, 2009, a whole 19 months since I first wrote that blog. There’s an unmistakable déjà vu to where I find myself today, just 24 hours from stepping back on that plane and heading back out on this world race journey. The anxiety of leaving and sadness over the goodbyes are pretty nonexistent this time around. Leaving the country for an extended time is normal now and just a part of life. Plus, I at least know fairly well what to expect out there when it comes to community, traveling, and ministry.
But then there are the parts of this race that are totally new this time around, things like the responsibility of 41 other racers who are out there with me. Like I wrote about in this blog, it’s new territory for me stepping into this place of leadership. And it’s because of the newness of this experience that I am back at that same realization I was over a year ago. I just sense in my spirit the holiness of this moment, that it is one of those defining moments in life.
my sister, Andi, praying over me last night
And so…here I go…back out there.
Why? Because the rumor within me still cries out that there is something more. The whisper in the wind still makes noise of the abundance of life, the awakening of His generation, the activation of His people to bring His Kingdom change. Two months ago, lying facedown on my bedroom carpet, the calling to this squad was clearer to me than I knew what to do with. Without a doubt, I am meant to go, to trust in Him as a presence of power who is ready to manifest Himself among this squad and these nations in a fresh, beautiful, redemptive way that only He can do.
Just like in all holy moments of life, words fall short in expressing the reality of what is really happening internally in this moment. But two things are for sure:
One, He’s in this.
And two, I’m ready.
There’s really nothing else to say.
