The biggest thing on my mind right now is sweat, honestly.
Like I am dripping sweat, it’s running down my arm and sticking to the page I’m writing on. We’re sitting on cushions, in a room lit with just candles and headlights, recreating what it looks like to hold a secret church gathering. Katy Perry’s “Firework” and Shakira’s “Wherever, whenever” are playing on an endless loop outside our window at the market across the street. We whispered a scripture to enter the door and smuggled our bibles in under our shirts. We read scripture and stories of the persecuted church, we raise our voice in worship and thank the Lord that we have the freedom to praise Him openly, outside these walls. Some of our brothers and sisters are not as blessed. North Korea has been listed as number 1 on the World Watch List for 16 years. It has the highest rate of persecution and pressure for those living out their faith, yet there are over 300,000 people who worship the Living God as their Lord and Savior. Wow.
The first thing that comes to my mind, besides the realization that sweat is now rolling down my forehead into my eyes, is my bible. I think about how easy it is for me to read it wherever I want. I think about how natural it is that it’s translated into my language, I even have the choice between which version I want, what color the cover is, and if I want my name engraved on the front or not. I can carry my bible openly and read it whenever I want. I think about the Yali people of Papua, Indonesia who just recently received a translation of the scriptures in their native language. There was singing and dancing, a real party at the arrival of those precious bibles. Some of the Yali have memorized the entire book of Psalms, they cling to God’s word in a manner which I long to. I realize that I take my bible for granted very often. I read it passively, or sometimes not at all. What must it be like to know God but not be able to read about Him in your language? What must it be like to hide your bible away, until you enter a stuffy basement crowded with fellow believers, all eager to study God’s word? Church often feels like an obligation, something I do on Sunday mornings to check off that box for the week. What if church cost me my life? What if meeting with fellow believers meant beatings and life imprisonment? The sweat rolling down my arms suddenly seems like a small price to pay.
We read stories about men and women who stood firm in their faith in the midst of persecution. People who willingly opened their hands to the Lord and gave up everything. Their homes, their comfort, their families, and sometimes, their lives. The Lord has been poking at my heart recently, “Carol” He asks, “if I took away everything, would you still rejoice?” oof. That’s a tough one. Every time I am quick to place my identity in something other than Him, I hear Him ask “if I took away nursing, your family, if you just had Me, would you be happy?” I’m praying that my sincere answer is “yes Lord! I would still love you, I would still rejoice.” I’m also hoping that the Lord never stops asking me that question.
Jesus has promised us persecution. He tells us in the book of John that the world first hated Him, so why should they not do the same to those who choose to associate with Him? Should we really be praying for persecution to end, then? Or should we be praying for strength to endure the trials that are sure to come? Should we be praying for peace and comfort for our brothers and sisters imprisoned and beaten for their faith, instead of praying for the persecution to end? Should I pray that the Lord brings ridicule and discomfort to my life and ask that in those circumstances He grants me peace and boldness to stand firm, even when it goes against the patterns of this world.
Passivity towards Christ seems like an insult to Him. He deserves my whole heart and my whole soul, anything less is foolishness. Passionate worship for my King, or none at all. A hunger for knowledge of Him and His heart or nothing. Lukewarm is no good. “Don’t ever give up in freedom what you wouldn’t give up in persecution” (Nik Ripkin, The Insanity of God).
John Piper writes;
“Oh how I pray that the Christian Church would be purged of the prosperity gospel and that it would instead be marked with suffering for Christ. For God is most glorified in you, when you are most satisfied in Him, in the midst of loss, not prosperity.”
Lord, help me hold loosely the things of this world. The only thing that matters is You. May my answer always be “yes, I am most satisfied in you alone, I will rejoice always.”
