Let go. That was the word God gave me for India. I didn’t really know what to expect with that. He slowly started to reveal to me the first week though that I was afraid to look foolish in front of others. That I tried to make it seem like I had it all together, even though I knew that that wasn’t true. So I quickly realized God wanted me to let go of anything that’s not Him. To let go and be free in Him. That I should do things more often that I’m not good at. Because it’s okay to look silly.
I’ve also had to let go of any sense of control of my time. We’ve learned to embrace the confusion. Yesterday, as we sat down in a place yet again with no communication as to why we were there, what we were doing, or who we were there for, we all just looked at one another and started laughing. No sense in asking what we were doing or what’s happening. We never know. I’ve let go of needing to know.
I’ve let go of any ability to have a deep conversation. Words are super important to me. I love going deep with others. But the language barrier makes conversation hard. I’ve had to let God work in ways I’m not familiar with and not in control of. I’m letting go of complaining about anything honestly. It’s easy to find something to complain about whether it’s the heat and no ac, the constant waiting around for our ministry host to be ready, eating rice for every meal, not being able to wear shorts, or never feeling fully clean.
I’m letting go of everything that I’m not and everything that is not who I was created to be. Sometimes I feel like I’m not enough. That I have to be all the things and be passionate about all things and I’m realizing how to embrace who I am and not to feel pressured to be who I’m not. And to know where I feel the most purpose and where I come most alive. And that’s on adventures talking to people about Jesus and using words to speak life into others, especially other women. The women in India are super oppressed. It’s a man’s world. But the women have so much power and wisdom.
My heart’s in deep friendships and showing Jesus to others in those deep friendships. It’s in speaking truth against any false god or idol and anything of our culture not of God. It’s making others feel special and showing them how special they are through encouraging words. He created me to be me. Not someone else.
On the weekends we usually get an off day and an adventure day. This past weekend we got to go to a place called Hampi and it was amazing. It used to be one of the biggest cities in the world until it was taken over by 7 other kings. The city was forgotten about until 1970, and now only 500 people live there, but it contains the biggest location for bouldering in the world, which was so fun! I miss going on adventures like that at home so being able to rock climb and hike was a huge blessing.
While in Hampi, we met several Europeans who were vacationing there. One guy was from France. His name was Martin. He joined our group rock climbing which was really amazing he felt comfortable doing that. We got to share with him why we were in India and he didn’t have the most positive reaction so I asked him what his thoughts were. He was following Buddhism.
I got to share with him the love of Jesus and what Jesus has done for us and after that he said, “Ya know one time I was backpacking and got lost and it started to pour on me. I was super upset and called out to God what did I do to deserve this. Just send me a sign that you care. And about a minute later a guy on a motorcycle pulled up and gave me a ride back to town.” I just looked at him smiling and said Martin I think that was a pretty big sign. He didn’t decide to follow Jesus that day but I at least realized how much God is pursuing people all over the world. And I was able to plant a seed in his heart that will be watered one day by someone else and that God will grow.
As I sat on a boulder, talking to Martin, I realized that I’ve been selfish. I love to go on adventures at home whether it’s hiking or kayaking or road trips. And sometimes I just see that as relaxation for me. But God sees those as opportunities to spread His love to the world. So I bought a bracelet from Hampi to remind me on each adventure I take that there’s someone waiting to hear about Jesus and waiting to be loved.
The bracelet reminds me to never stop listening and seeing. It reminds me to never be too busy for another human being. To not let plans stop me from sitting down with someone and showing them I care. Our adventure plans are temporary but God’s are eternal. This is who I am. To go on journeys and make them about Jesus. To see people. To speak truth into people.
I wanted to thank all of you who read my blog and have left comments. It honestly brings tears to my eyes when I know that I have so much support from home and it makes me feel like you’re right here with me when I read your comments. I LOVE the church in that we don’t have to be in the same place at the same time to be the church.
God’s revealing so much to me about how each part of the body makes up the whole body and that we work together. We aren’t all the same. But we are unified when we work our different gifts and personalities together. We, as the body, when working together, are the fullness of Jesus. The FULLNESS. That’s amazing to me. As Ephesians 4:15-16 says, “Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.” We have to accept each other for who we are and not condemn one another for who we aren’t. My team has shown me that in our relationships with one another. We bring out the best in one another by just displaying different parts of Jesus and then desiring what the other has. There doesn’t always have to be a verbal thing said. We just have to be who we were made to be and live that out.
98% of India does not know Jesus. But the church is growing. There is severe persecution that makes it hard to even say the name of Jesus. Last night, we were able to speak the gospel right across from a Hindu festival that has been going on the last 10 days. There are so many pastors here in India who are meant to be here and are planting seeds.
Last night as a team, we decided to wash the family’s feet who we have stayed with, including the 10 orphan boys. I really didn’t think it would affect me in the way it did but seeing how much it meant to them completely overwhelmed me. I got to wash the feet of Coveta, the wife of the pastor we have been doing ministry with. We finally got to serve her to pay her back in how much she has served us. They have some of the most genuine hearts I’ve ever seen. That’s the church to me. I love it when we live out what God planned for the church to look like. There’s fruit sometimes that we don’t always see but seeds are constantly being planted. This morning our pastor who we have been staying with confirmed the seeds God has been growing. He’s been getting several phone calls of healings after our prayers. Rejoice with me as the church! The church is being built up in love and growing even in dark places.
